long time coming

so I have been wanting to write this post for a really long time. i had thought of the idea for it but have never gotten around to it. i'm in my kitchen in texas city, waiting for my mom to get dressed so we can go to church! christmas eve mass.

on july 20, 2004, shawn best and I got off for our break at sanders pool. we went and got bases with my sister and then decided to drive to galveston because we really wanted a hemp bracelet. we drove to galveston and ended up buying two hemp bracelets together. i mean, they weren't like friendship bracelets or anything but we just bought them together and they were the same one. by the time we were done in galveston we realized that it was approaching 3 and we needed to get back to sanders asap. i think we ended up getting there at like 3:04 but there were no kids there. there were almost never any kids swimming at sanders. i think the largest amount of people that have swam at sanders while i was a lifeguard was no more than 10. so anyway what i wanted this post to be about was that bracelet. to this day i still have it on. i would like to say that i've had it on for the past 4 and a half years but i haven't. last year, i went to michigan for a volleyball tournament and they made it take it off. usually, i had put tape around it but i wanted to play well so I decided to take it off. for the very first time. i had it on for three and a half years. i've had the best years of my life with that bracelet on.

i had the bracelet on my entire senior year. if you didn't know, senior year was definitely my best year of high school. not only was I very involved and had many elected positions but I had finally found a good group of friends to hang out with. i started going to crossroad and grace and that pretty much was the foundation of my faith today. i had it on when i got accepted into texas and i knew that my life would change forever. i had it on when i was stupid and tried to play volleyball with the girls and horribly sprained my ankle and shawn and callie had to carry me one time. i had it on when i went skiing for the first time and when i went to boston and had the time of my life. i was wearing it when i graduated high school and knew that, like i just said, my life was going to change forever.

i was wearing it when i moved into jester and had no idea what was going to happen when my parents made the turn onto mlk and i was left by myself. i was wearing it when I dominated my first semester of college (3.2?) i was wearing it when i went to polar bear and was here that i found the people that i would be living with, hanging out with and loving with for the next three years. i was wearing it when i went skiing for the second time with younglife and that was amazing! i was wearing it when i got hired at camp ozark and had no idea what was going to happen. i was wearing it when my truck broke down in murchinson, texas and God totally rocked my world. i was wearing it when i went to camp ozark for a month and had the time of my life and figured out that camp is probably the second greatest place on earth for me.

i was wearing it my sophomore year when i tried out for the vball team and didn't make it (sad). i was wearing it my entire sophomore year. nothing really exciting happened sophomore year. i was wearing it when I had the greatest new years in college (we went to lucy's lakehouse and had a blast!) i was wearing it at my last early november concert in houston and that was AWESOME. i was wearing it when i decided that i was going to stay in austin for the summer (by myself) and work at westwood (worst decision ever). i wore it the entire summer at westwood, asking myself why i was there and not in mount ida, arkansas. oh well, westwood wasn't that bad, i enjoyed it i guess the majority of the time.

i was wearing it when i tried out for the volleyball team and made it! whoop! yeah junior year! i was wearing it when i started getting invited to a bunch of sorority parties and started having a lot more fun. i was wearing it when i went to michigan and then i took it off, but put it right back on! i was wearing it when i got declared MIA in MIS and was crushed. i was also wearing it late tuesday night/early wednesday morning when i effing dominated zoo tycoon and had like eighty fist pumps. (you have no idea how much that game sucked but I got my B in MIS without having to do the stupid business fair). i was wearing it when i dominated the first three seasons of lost over break! i was wearing it when i went camping with carly, chad, durant, cotton, nick brandt and phil before we went back to school (this was the best camping experience i had ever had!) i was wearing it when our vball team pretty much collapsed from the inside and i was pissed. not really but yeah. i was wearing it when i went skiing for the third time with janice, cotton, ali, russell, jeremy and devin in colorado and it was so much fun! i was wearing it when i got this small inkling inside my head that it would be cool if i went back to camp. i was wearing it when amanda neugebauer texted me asking if anyone in my house needed a sublease. i was wearing it when i left memorial on a thursday morning headed to camp for orientation and decided that it would be my home for the next three months. i was wearing it that entire three months, they ended up being the best three months of my life.

i was wearing it when i turned 21 and senior year rolled around. i was wearing it on october 11, 2008 when we beat oklahoma at the cotton bowl, maybe the single most awesome event of my college career. this brings us to today. i'm still wearing it and still rocking strong. who knows what will happen in the future! i only hope and pray that this bracelet sees many more days and years and many more awesome things happen in my life. i'm now done and this has been the longest post ever.

thanks and i love you for reading. merry christmas!
luke 2:10-11

i'm doing alright

so fall classes are over! woohoo!! i am done with five of my seven classes. i made C's in my history classes (not a big deal, only the credit transfers) I made a B in management (85, what a lame grade) BUT!!!! I made TWO A'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I made an A in rhetoric (awesome because this is a writing class and I have historically stunk at writing) and I made an A in advertising and black representation! i guess this is really awesome. I have two classes left, lying and deception and business law. I have to make like a 72 on my l and d test to make a B which should be easy. i didn't really study for both of the first two tests and made an 80 and a 70. I have an entire week to study. i am not planning on doing anything today or tomorrow. i might start studying on tuesday but that just depends on how i'm feeling. if i don't start on tuesday then for sure on wednesday. i just need to do a little at a time. after that, it's business law time. i have two days to teach myself seven chapters of business law. the only plus is that the final is open note so that's good. the bad thing is that the test should probably be pretty tough and i need to make a 82 on it to make a B. my business law professor thought that she had to make a final that lasted three hours long. good thing there were a lot of people at class on wednesday because we pretty much all said that NO professor creates the final to last that long. she explained to us that she needed to keep us busy for three hours so she put 100 questions on the test. she then said that she would bring it down to about 60 or 70 which i guess is better. i should probably start studying for that tomorrow. two chapters a day until next tuesday. after I take my final on saturday, its going to be a pretty busy two days. on sunday I have to go get my oil changed in my truck and I have to start packing and washing clothes. monday, finalize packing and get gas and put all of my stuff in my truck. my plan is to leave for home as soon as my final gets out. my final should take somewhere from 2 to 3 hours. hopefully around 2. i left austin the day after thanksgiving at 10:45 and made good timing. i ended up taking the texas city exit at 1:52 with little to no traffic the entire way! i don't want to hurry on my test by any means but i definitely don't want to hit any traffic. the good thing is that it will be a tuesday so no really extra travel stuff. i feel like the day after thanksgiving is usually pretty hectic. i usually hit traffic on 610 and 45. since my final is in burdine, i was just going to pay to park which means that i would have some cash left over to take the beltway. i wish i had an ez tag but NO.

so i needed to rant that BUT as far as my health goes, i am doing pretty good! thank God! praise Him! I am feeling pretty well and eating healthy and almost regularly. on friday night after initiation we always go to county line for all you can eat and i ate a lot and drank dr. pepper! it was good. yesterday, i actually ate a piece of pizza and some hot wings (like four) and was okay. things are looking up! i'm thinking this was just a temporary thing and i should be fine. i feel really good right now, i just can't wait to go home and not have to worry about anything! we have byx formal tonight at some place in dripping springs and i'm going with kathleen. it should be a blast! i need some fun in my life after that two week incident. tomorrow night i'm going to DG junior/senior cocktail which should be a lot of fun as well.

i can only keep singing His praises!

tough week

wow, i can't even describe how ridiculous my last week was. i'll just start from the beginning. last thursday (not this past thursday but the one before) we had the most tiring vball practice ever. we did a lot of running and a lot of conditioning. definitely the most i have ever, EVER worked out before. we all know that i am not in that great of shape so working out so much so fast probably wasn't good for me. well, after I got home (i had to study for my history test on friday) i got a bad case of the hiccups. this was the second time I had the hiccups. i actually had them for like three hours and it was horrible. so i woke up the next morning so freaking sore. sore in a place i have never been sore before, my chest. early on in the day, i was okay. i went to dg lunch, ate. went to take my test, dominated it. chilled all day on the couch with the roomies. later on in the day, the soreness was coming on strong, pretty strong. i almost couldn't breathe because i was so sore. i took some acetaminophen and called it a night.

woke up the next morning feeling better. we watched the game, which we dominated, went to lunch with cotton, caroline and christina. afterwards, we came back to the house to watch more football. cotton and i wanted to make margaritas that didn't turn out too well and watch gone with the wind. a bunch of girls came over and we watched it. it was cool but tiring because we didn't start watching it till 11 or 11:30.

sunday: i didn't do anything all day! woke up and watched lpbw (little people big world) marathon on tv and it was awesome. i didn't get asked to go to younglife formal so i chilled at the house by myself and watched a lot of tv. true blood, jon and kate, you know, the usual. went to bed.

monday: woke up, went to class. felt fine. i was struggling in leb. it was awfully boring. so i left and had lunch with some friends and watched cliff for a while. i was getting a ride home from natalie so i waited for her. went to the mall with her, went to sonic. came home and when i wanted to take a nap. as i was laying down, i felt this pain in my chest. when i laid down, it hurt to breathe kind of. i was like, hm...this sucks. so i called the nurses hotline and she suggested that i go to the emergency room. i called my mom and she said that if i felt like i needed to go then i should. it was right before meeting so i just decided to go to meeting. i was really hungry and i felt really weird. i ate a payday and started to gag. i tried to throw up but couldn't. afterwards, i came back home and tried to see what the heck was the problem. i was troubleshooting with caroline but that didn't fare too well. i ate a sandwich because i thought maybe i needed to eat something. i ended up going to sleep.

tuesday: woke up, felt the same. decided that i would go to the emergency room and see what the deal was. i was afraid that something was wrong with my heart. went to the er where i was the youngest person in there by about 40 years. they check a bunch of stuff. long story short, there was nothing wrong with my heart and he gave me a packet of info with no certain diagnosis. the doc told me to take motrin and see what happens. i came home, got lunch and did nothing for the rest of the day. i decided to go to practice because maybe i needed some vball to improve my spirits. beforehand, i went and bought pepcid ac because i thought i had maybe had heartburn. took one and went to practice. i actually felt a little better after taking it. so i guess that was good.

wednesday: did not do anything all day, worked the vball game that night where i started to feel really really weird inside. i was sorta freaking out.

thursday: felt pretty weird at school, was freaking out. came home and rest for about two hours on the couch. i was going to go to the hp vball game with kata and drew and some others. went and felt kinda weird. went to eat afterwards and i knew that i shouldn't have even eaten. had some soup and a chicken taco. came home and had some pepto and it made me feel better.

friday: i woke up and felt a little better. i had went to the doctor's office where she put me on prilosec and mylanta. went to college station for vball.

so friday and saturday were the days i felt the best. i sorta actually feel like me again which is awesome. that is so uplifting. now, i hope that each day is better than the last. i mean, i still feel it. right now i actually feel like something is in my chest and its bothering me but i'm about to go take some mylanta. i just have to watch what i eat and start exercising more often. hopefully, by the end of my prilosec treatment, i should be better and now i will be more aware of what i eat and how i can't take my health for granted. this is an extremely long post so i'll cut it short. i'll write more later because i'll most likely be bored this week unless my family comes up for thanksgiving.

long time no blog #2

so it's been a really long time since i've blogged, almost a month.

things that have happened since then:
1)we went from number 1 to number 3. we lost to tech in the last second. we had an interception with eight seconds left but blake gideon dropped the ball after it fell right between his numbers. sucks. if he would've caught that ball, we would be the number one team in the nation without a doubt with a red carpet paving the way to the national championship where we would've potentially beaten florida. oh well, woulda coulda shoulda. there is still a slight chance of us making it to the big 12 championship game and the national championship game. we just need to win out and win out big. i know we'll definitely beat a&m by a lot (two years of extreme hate, i still haven't gotten over that 12-7 lost AT FREAKING HOME) but i'm worried about kansas. i don't want to win by a field goal or a touchdown. i need us to win by at least three touchdowns and we should be fine.

2. i went to ole miss!!!!!!!!!!! dang, talk about a good time! the weekend started off by us missing our 6:23 am flight. we wanted to leave coppell at 5:15 and I was ready...(sorry beth and blaine!) we were literally four minutes too late to our flight. oh well. we ended up flying out of dallas at 11:30. we got to memphis at 1 and we were in oxford by 3:15. went to a tri-halloween party (EN,EX,phi delt) at a club called the lyric, it was cool. i stayed in the EN house with adam. on saturday, we went to the game, groved it up for a while (love the grove and the amazing food) went to a KE party that night and it was alright. the next day we went to corky's in memphis and it was so good and so cheap!!! flew back to dallas, drove to college station and then drove back to austin. it was a great time. the alcohol was too expensive though. this is why i think texas is still the bigger party school. out of the top three in the nation, i've been to two out of three. well, i just checked the rankings and we're like number 7 with ole miss being number 4. we can party, for cheap. i really want all my ole miss friends to come to austin and see how we have fun. the grove is awesome, but it doesn't compare to sixth street.

3. the fall and rise of my history acc classes - so on the second tests I took in both of my history class, i made a 44 and 55 respectively. in my 1301 class, i studied my butt off knowing that i needed to do well to maintain my C. i just took my 2301 test last night. on saturday, i found out that my test was due on monday. i studied a little bit on saturday night, all day sunday and the majority of the day on monday. i needed to make at least a 72 on my test to increase my 68 to a C. i made an 85!!!!! it was awesome. i only missed six which is awesome. i can still make a B in the class, if i make a 100 on my next test. i think i can totally do it. the problems that i missed were problems that i had no idea. i could've totally studied more for the test. i'm going to try my hardest. i can only make a c in my other class due to my dumb ass professor. that's man. i'll end up with a B average in the class but because i made a 44 on one of the test, i will make a C. oh well

4. my coach told me that i was the best player on my volleyball team, skadoosh. even though I'm not captain (i have a problem with encouraging (ask my tribal comp co-coaches)) i gotta improve my encouraging skills because currently, my team except for a few guys HATES me. the chemistry that we had last year isn't there. i hope it improves! i love going to practice though and I can't wait to play in our first tournament. a&m hasn't seen us full strength so we should put up a good fight when we play them slash we should beat them. we are supposed to be playing in g. rollie white on friday at 6 against their second team where we will play a 3 out of 5 game match! i will not accept a five match win or loss. we need to beat them in only three or four games. it will be interesting to see how elbert puts the team together in those games.

my ghetto but awesome computer is losing battery so i want to wrap this up. i'll try and blog more this week. i want more readers

long time no blog

so its been a pretty long time since my last post. i'm taking a rhetoric class that stinks and I hate coming to because its so boring and there are some crazy girls up in here. so much has happened since the last time I wrote...

If you haven't heard by now, we beat ou. Not only did we beat them, we dominated them in the second half. Because of this, I feel like not only the players but the students here don't know what to feel or think. We've never been in this situation where everyone is on our tip, for a lack of a better word, and we've never gotten this much credit for a win. We've always been number 2 but now we're number 1. There are a tons of analysts that are predicting us to take it all...It could definitely happen! I hope it happens. Senior year, c'mon. I would do anything and everything in my power to be at that National Championship game. If only it was in New Orleans, it would be a lot easier to get to plus I would have somewhere to stay in New Orleans. I just hope that we dominate from here on out. It could happen! I want to play an SEC just so we can yell BIG 12! BIG 12! when we beat a team from the SEC with all of their speed. It's lookin more likely that we will probably play Penn State, if they can win at Columbus which probably won't happen.

Well after the hurricane, I hadn't talked to my mom in a very long time. Long story short, we didn't talk for a month and three days. crazy, huh? That was the longest i've ever gone without talking to my mom. Needless to say when I called her, she was pretty pissed. There's a whole back story but I won't get into it. I'm glad that I called her but wished that it would've been sooner. I'm gonna call her today because she told me that I better call her.

I've been struggling with my history classes at ACC. I'm probably going to end up with C's in both classes. Lord knows what this will do for my chance of getting into grad school. The thing is, I'm pretty much set on going so I feel like if I don't go, it would be a huge failure. I gotta rock my classes this semester. I need to make more A's than B's in this last semester or there is no way that I could get in. I could potentially make an A in Management, Rhetoric and Advertising. There is no way I could do that in LEB maybe Lying and deception. Oh well, talking about grades makes me depressed

I'm going to Ole Miss at the end of the month! Can we talk about how excited I am? Its going to be crazy. I could potentially be drunk all weekend long! Is that possible? Probably, I'm gonna try my hardest to lock it up.

WHAT?! Class is getting pseudo-interesting...I'm gonna try and pay attention

ACL weekend

vampire weekend is officially my new favorite band. one of my new favorite hobbies is to dance freely to their music. which i am doing...now. they were so good.

favorite shows of the weekend:
1) vampire weekend - obviously, i've been ranting and raving about them for a long time. i just wish more people would've been there and the crowd would've gotten more involved
2)patty griffin - wow, this woman can sing. she's freakin' awesome. i'm glad i got to live in the same neighborhood with her for an entire year
3)priscilla ahn - girls, guitars, yes.
4) stars - OMG, talk about a great show. i love stars and they put on such a great show
5)okkervil river - probably the most fun show i went to all weekend long, it seems like they played for a really long time. the crowd was getting into it and that does a lot for the show. these guys are good!

overall, i had a blast at acl. if you notice, the three headliners are not listed because they suck and i didn't want to stay around for them. if it had been coldplay, death cab, etc., i would've camped out for it. ACL has potential to be the most bad A music festival around. i don't understand how lolla and ACL are run by the same company and lolla is one thousand times better. i know that radiohead never plays in the south because its too "hot" but this fall its actually been pretty cool and they would play at night so they should stop b-otching. plus, if we're shelling out 135 for a ticket, we expect something better than robert plant and allison krauss, let's be serious. i'd never heard of them before they came out on the line up. how many people ages 18-24 listen to them?

exactly.

also, we're #5 in the polls. i can feel it. we WILL beat ou. confidence baby.

sitting in class

so I'm pretty bored here, sitting in class. Advertising and Black Representation is a crazy class. We tend to have heated debates regarding race and the way the blacks are portrayed and treated in our society today. I like our debates. Even though I'm usually on facebook the entire time, it's good background music.

This week is crazy! I had my history test yesterday and I made an 80. skadoosh. I didn't really study that much so I was pretty excited about it. Tomorrow I have my LEB test and I'm worrying about that. Basically, I only have a few hours to teach myself everything that we've talked about. I'm sort of lost. On Thursday, I have my management test which I'm more involved in the class and we get to use cheat sheets so it shouldn't be too hard. And then, IT'S HAPPY HOUR AND ACL! I'm definitely working for the weekend. Yes

So I haven't talked to my parents in a very long time. I haven't talked to my mom since she left my house that Saturday. I dunno why she's mad or why she doesn't want to talk to me. She's just as stubborn as I am so who knows when we will talk. I feel like this time it's different because there is obviously a reason why she doesn't want to talk. We'll see how long this lasts. God, give me a peace about this situation and give me wisdom and tell me what to do. Honestly, I feel like I shouldn't be the one to call, I'm not the parent. I would be worried about my child. What if I was hurt? or what if I was in the hospital. Because of her stubbornness, she wouldn't even know. I don't know what to do. I feel like its been too long so it would be almost stupid for me to call now. With everything that's going on, I'm sure my mom could careless of what's going on with me here in Austin...uh, depression station

So tonight will be my first practice with our coach, his name is Ed. it could potentially be a disaster. If he's a suck coach, I might not play. I could buy a new iPod with that money.

Class is starting to get interesting...Lates

a less emo obsession

vampire weekend - oxford comma, proof that great bands can come out of the us

frustration station

i'm pretty sure i've already had an entry with this title but oh well, i'm back at frustration station.

so tonight we had tryouts for club and yet again, i'm one person away from making the first team. the majority of the guys that are going to be on the second team are HORRIBLE. they can't pass, they can't hit, they dang sure can't set. its going to be horrible. so i'm going to be their setter for the second team and its going to be hell. most of the guys don't know how to rotate or even play. i don't know if i want to waste my time or my money on something like that. i just don't know what else i need to do to get better...i feel like i can compete, but they won't give me a chance.

oh well, i prayed for discernment and basically what God wants me to do. stay on the team, or quit. i hate being a quitter, its all about the three flames of tribal competition. i'm gonna give it my all regardless. i'll just have to see what the teams looks like. i mean, i have no idea who is coaching it but i should be captain. i'll be the only returner on the team so its pretty much up to me that decides how good we do.

i might stick it out.

i'm buying ACL tickets tomorrow and couldn't be more excited. i can't wait to see vampire weekend and suzanne shannon and sally anne harrell and andrew haynie is coming in too.

lates

current obsession

i'm obsessed with this song and even more worried about it.

official summer recap...

so i know that my huge audience has been waiting for my official summer recap 2008 edition. well, here it is:

this was, without a doubt, probably the best summer that I have ever had. yeah, there were times when i wanted to give up and give in, but God wouldn't let me. there were times when i was frustrated and pissed off because of the way that either i or a friend was treated by the logistics of camp ozark, but God kept me calm. He was the theme of the summer. He showed me that I need him more and more. He taught me to let go of the little things which is one of my main problems. I tend to worry about stupid stuff. At camp, I didn't have the time or energy to do such things which caused me to focus more on the Lord and not on myself. Whenever you're in charge of 10 teenage boys, you hardly ever have time for yourself. it was awesome. these relationships that I made with my kids will last forever. they're great! these are kids that I want to hang out with because they are that cool. i wish i was that cool when I was 14. i keep on getting distracted by jon and kate plus eight so its taking me a very long time to write this entry.

on top of have awesome kids all summer, i had awesome co's. each session, I would always worry about who my co would be. i wanted someone who was legit and who I didn't have to worry about. i loved my co's each session. i hope to be able to visit some of them. i think i'm for sure going to starkville to visit hunter and the rest of the state crew and I want to go to baton rouge to stay with quentin and visit brooke. currently, there is ANOTHER hurricane that is hitting louisiana so I hope that they are okay. quentin is from new orleans and has been through so much with katrina. i wish it would've hit texas just so they could've had a break from this crazyness.

well this has taken me at least an hour to write so I think i'm just gonna call it quits. i'll be posting more later.

p.s. i decided to not to younglife this semester/year. this was on my heart all summer long and I know that this is what needs to happen. because of this, i may rejoin.............(you'll find out at a later date!)

summer report

so i will do a full summer report at a later time. i'm way to add right now so i can't do it.

i'll be in austin on saturday though!

day off: fifth session

okay so i know that i have been pretty brief with my posts but hopefully this is the long one. FOURTH SESSION WAS AMAZING!! my kids in my cabin were awesome and i miss hangin out with them a lot. four from hp and the rest from houston and louisiana. i can't wait to do ozone stuff in houston and dallas with them! i got the chance to meet a lot of kids that are going to be freshman at hphs and memorial. they were so much fun and the beginning of fourth session was tough because the new cabin had a lot to measure up to. at first, 5th session wasn't going as good...and then billy cohen showed up. one of my kids was sick and didn't come to camp until monday night. billy is, without a doubt, the funniest kid i have ever met. not only is he sorta ghetto and sassy but he knows bon qui qui, well. on top of that, the rest of my kids make me laugh so much. i officially love being in the summit and wouldn't want to be anywhere else. we had planet ozark last night and it was pretty ridic. we danced like crazy men the entire night. awesome.

the past two sessions have been awesome. on top of my fifth session kids being really fun to hang out with, our devos have been the best i've ever had. they are asking a lot of questions about faith and how to pursue a better faith with Christ. this is getting me soooo excited about these kids. i know that they understand what a relationship with Christ means, its just them fully giving all that they have into that and letting go. I know that as a young teenager, its hard to trust but I pray that they would let go and let God. i wish that i had done that at an earlier age. i feel like my walk would be so much greater if i had trusted God early on. i've had random one on one's with at least half of them.

the other day i almost broke down and lost it. this past sunday was the hottest day of the summer. i was working belay on the super swing and sweating like a slave. there was about 7 of the youngest girls there and for some reason, i was getting furious. i was so mad that i was about to cry. my body was about to fall over and there was nothing I could do about it. i needed Him. i had a great talk with patrick immediately after that because i had my eval for fourth session and it was great. he prayed for me and that really helped. i need You, i need energy and i need enthusiasm. the only way that's happenin' is through prayer. be praying that God would allow me to go through the dock as we say here at camp. i pray that these last two weeks are the best, most loudest, craziest, and spiritually fulfilling two weeks of the entire summer.

i'm way excited to come back to austin. i'm excited to see my family and friends. i keep on asking myself if i have changed or not. i dunno, we'll see when i get back. my friends here have made fun of me because i said i was a hippie on my fbook status. i took it off. (i'm not a hippie just more so). i'm ready for those lazy austin days lounging around the park and the playing lots of volleyball. i've only played once this entire summer (suck).

well, i've run out of things to talk about so i'm gonna go and maybe take a nap? heck no. well, be praying for me and i'm sure i will talk to you soon

4th session day off

wow, my kids are crazy. i have high school freshman and they are ridiculous. i love each and everyone of them, but they are crazy. four are from hp, two from memorial, two from mississippi and one from lafayette. they are awesome. they have facebook so i won't give too much of the details.

i'm glad to be off of swat. but i do miss those ridiculous nights in the staff house.

i'm too add to just sit here and type so i'm gonna go. sleep is calling my name

write me.

SWAT.

so the title pretty much says it all. i was on SWAT for third session. it was hard, it was tiring and i'm so glad that it is over. i'm currently sitting in a hotel hallway listening to amos lee and writing in the blizog. i'm tired but i knew that i needed to have a post before i wasn't able to. i was able to get close to some people my own age on SWAT. i had two guys on my team, patrick from la tech and grant from the boones. patrick was awesome and we got to talk a lot about a lot and how much he's obsessed with rage and grant doesn't shower. that's my two weeks in a nutshell. i am sooo glad that it is over. i don't think i could take another second of it. horrible.

so session four is upon us. I am in S-14 which is kinda a big deal. i had no idea that I was going to be in the summit this summer! when they read all of the base camp names i was like...uh, i'm in the summit? and then s-14. the youngest summit cabin is S-9 so i'm pretty much crazy excited but nervous at the same time. i'm just struggling with the fact whether or not my campers will like me. they SHOULD and hopefully they will. buttholes. one of their names' is cash. he's from dallas (highland park) you better believe i will be callin' him cash money constantly.

its 1:54 and we have to wake up around 8. we have to be back at camp at 920ish so we need NOT to be late and i have to shower so...yeah. i have a bed so i'm excited for that. as long as the quality is there, i don't really care.

i hope that everyone's summer is going great. i'm having a great time here at ozark. i've been losing weight? my face looks different and i have a pretty good chaco tan. we start assassins fourth session so i'm pretty excited about that!

prayers:
cabin S-14: pray that will, hunter and i will be ridiculously crazy for these kids. pray that God would grant us wisdom, courage and strength to lead these kids

energy: SWAT took a lot out of me. i need some. like now. or five minutes ago

will bakke and his one nation movement: he's going around the nation and doing a documentary about what non-believers think about christians. on a similar note, please read the book unChristian.

CAMP OZARK FOURTH SESSION 2008: pray that every single staff memeber would be sold out for these kids and sold out for Christ! F-A-N-A-T-I-C!

day off: 2nd session

well my kids are crazy!!! ahh! they are the craziest group of kids i've ever had. they are constantly off the walls and i'm constantly yelling at them. they have no idea how sick i am right now (not of them, i'm talking literally). i'm obviously NOT praying enough or thinking about the Lord because i wouldn't be in this situation. but no, its not really that bad. the past few days have been really good. as far as devos go, i have no idea what they are feeling or what they really believe. i forgot how much of an awkward age 13 can be. one of my kids is training to be the next tweeder (varsity blues) of nashville, tennessee. he makes me laugh a lot though, which is good. some of the stuff that makes me laugh is inappropiate but i want these kids to know that i'm not a robot and i don't always yell and scream.

my tribal comp team is UNDEFEATED! yes, these kids are eight years old and they are dominating the osage team everyday. we will do well in ultimate solution. today, they were seriously slacking but they picked it up at the end to win the game, i was semi-proud of them. caddo NEEDS to win this second session or we will be DONE for the summer. osage has not lost 3rd session in like 13 years if that's any indication of the domination of the tribe. it will be interesting to see who they put as chief of caddo for 3rd session. i will most likely be on SWAT but i don't know yet. we'll see what happens!

i'm doing my best to make a lot of new friends. what i hate is that its wayy to much surface level friendships, which BLOWS. oh well. i don't want to be that kid that no one knows or anything. i feel like everyone at least knows my name, even when i don't know theirs. a lot of the people here are awesome and i've been blessed enough to get some co's that are nothing short than amazing. i wish i had them this session but no it didn't work out.

as i go through all of my friends' facebook back home, i cringe inside because i feel like i'm missing so much. will things be the same when i get back? i mean, things were already in an awkward place anyway with most of the friends i had and now that i'm gone for another 3 months, what's going to happen when i get back? i feel like i've already changed so much during my time here. i can assure you that the hector that left for camp ozark a month ago will not be the same hector that is returning to austin august 20-something. that scares me.

prayer requests:
my kid marshall - this kid has a HORRIBLE home life and yesterday he told my co all about it. he believe that God is real but he doesn't believe in God. pray that i could love him unconditionally and that God would shine through my co's and I during this last week of second session. i've been pretty hard on this kid because he seriously works my nerves.

cabin 54 - this is my cabin this session. they are crazy. ridiculous. pray that i God will give me the words to say and the right actions.

me - strength, that i would get over my sickness, plans for third session

write me! love you all.

session 1

okay so this is going to be the fastest post ever. session 1 was pretty good. i had eleven year olds. they were crazy. my first week kids were really great and the second week kids were a little crazy. caddo lost first session after winning 1A. it was horrible. i was extremely pissed. i would like to be chief. its not going to happen. i don't have the abs for it. debbie priddy is a hot trannie mess. my co's for first session were AMAZING. i was soooooo blessed to have two great guys to lead kids with. i will be in cabin 54 for session two which are 12 and 13 year olds. cabin 54 used to be the oldest cabin, now S-20 is. weird, i know. but i do have my own bathroom. yesssss. i wish i could write more but we are strapped for time on this day off.

please be praying for energy and strength and boldness. i want to love these kids regardless. five of my campers are from austin so i could definitely continue relationships after we leave camp! i love you all and expect you all to write my tooons of letters!

hecteeeeeee
jeremiah 31:3

orientation 2008

so i know that i haven't blogged in a while and that's my fault. some of you might know, but i decided to come to camp for the ENTIRE summer! crazy, i know. today is an off day and i'm currently sitting in san francisco bread company with some others hanging out and i thought that this would be a good time to update my blog because i know that my readers are getting anxious. here it goes:

on wednesday the 21st i went to memorial and stayed the night with ryan simpson because him, anne marie, sarah bett and i were waking up the next morning to drive up here to mt. ida. well we finally get to camp and its awkward because 95% of the people who are returners are people who worked last year and not the year before. i immediately am like uh....what am i getting myself into? well, we had a lifeline and it was soo much fun getting back into the swing of camp ozark. well, my co's name is garrett mcmullin and he's from state (like most of the kids are) and he was pretty cool. the first years in my cabin were pretty awesome. i was on chris eisenlohr's tribal comp team so that meant that i had to be extra crazy good on the field. we started off playing flickerball and that was pretty much hell on earth. seriously though, hell. well orientation was pretty tough. by wednesday i was so tired of seeing people my own age here and i was getting so pumped and ready for the kids. i knew that i needed to get through the week and the kids would finally be here. it was kinda funny because while doing all the tribal comp stuff and the swim meet and the ultimate solution, i feel like a lot of the guys underestimated me athletically, which is AWESOME. i must say that it was good surprising people with my athletically ability. maybe its because i'm fat and mexican and they don't expect someone who's fat and mexican and sassy? to be a pretty okay athlete. oh well, go caddo. caddo ended up losing the orientation session by about 2 1/2 people. they had a 34 second lead going into ultimate solution and they held it the entire time so there was nothing really that we could've done to cut at it. it was fun though. in the past week, i have had two of the most ridiculous worship services ever. there was one where a group of people gathered at central park to worship on our own and as we were worshiping, it was started to lighting. it was probably one of the most crazy, spiritual things to ever happen to me. then, it started to rain and we started to worship in the rain. if you've never done it, i HIGHLY recommend it. it was sooooo good to see God move. the second one being the worship service we had last night with a husband and wife from houston come in and do it for us. i forgot their names but they were awesome. so i'm in cabin 52 and i have 11 and 12 year olds. if you know anything about camp ozark you know that that's extremely weird! 1st session is a very young session so we don't have many older kids. the summit, which is for the oldest kids at camp, should have 15 and up but this session they have 13 year olds which is pretty ridiculous. my co is hunter ainsworth from state and joey decosta, blair's best friend from high school. i'm way pumped about these two guys and about our kids. we have eight campers and that's like four per person (joey is on lake crew so he will have limited time with them). so i'm way pumped about that. i'm coaching the next oldest kids so i'm excited!

bros and siss in christ, please please please be praying for energy and enthusiasm! i'm having a tough time finding encouragement. i don't have anyone here at camp that i was really close with back at texas so its been tough. so please be praying. if you could send me letters or packages or anything, that would be so greatly appreciated. i will put the address at the bottom. i, of course, am missing all of you back in austin. a small part of me wishes i could be in austin doing life with yall. i know i have to be here though. when you go through what i went through, you know that God has a plan and that it's perfect. because of this i'm trying not to let anything get me down and i'm going to be myself. if people don't like it, it's not my concern. i've been too concerned with how people view me and what they think of me. i won't let satan control that anymore. secondly, i'm going to start trusting Christ with more and more and more. i was a fool to think that he wouldn't provide for me and he did! he provided me with a job all summer and a great guy to sublease my room for the entire summer. i'm not at all worried about any problems happening in austin because i'm so concerned with my plan here.

i gotta go but know that i love yall a lot. be praying.

in Him,
hectee

hector garza
155 camp ozark drive
mount ida, arkansas 71957

summer 2008

so i know i haven't updated like I said I would but I finally have SUMMER 2008 figured out. I have sometime for my episode of brothers and sisters to load so i figured I do a quick update. I've decided to go back to Camp Ozark for the entire summer! OMG! WTF! I know! I still haven't found out about Michael yet but he said that tomorrow he should know whether or not he got the job. Please be praying that he will get the job so that huge financial burden would be lifted off of my shoulder. Honestly, I feel like God has definitely taken over the situation and I have nothing to fear. God will guide me through and and we both feel really good about the job. Michael should get the job. If he were to sublease, I would be in a really good place financially.

With that being said, I will be at camp all summer. Please please please be praying that I would seek God when I feel tired or fatigued. I need to find strength and enthusiasm in Him. I know that I will be better prepared spiritually and mentally. Physically speaking, I know what's expected of me so I know what's in the near future. I'm not too sure what we will be doing as far as orientation goes but all I know is that we will most likely be doing ultimate solution and the swim meet. It changes every other year from the swim meet and the track meet. I would much rather do the swim meet. To be honest, I did have some trouble with the ultimate solution track. I didn't think that it was that hard but for some reason when I did it, I lost my breath. I think it was the adrenaline that got to me which caused me to become light headed. I should probably practice it before I go. I think cleats will better help me. If I can't use Austin's then I will borrow some from Ryan hopefully. I just really want to be the best that I can while at camp. I want to be very intentional with everyone there and I would like to make lots of new friends. I can't wait to be there!

Hopefully, I post every off day that I have and let you know how each session went. I got to remember to do this. I probably will only have five or six posts this summer, one for every session and then orientation. Please be praying for my time there! I love you all. Also, tell everyone you know that I will be there. Not very many people read my blog for crazy reasons. You can forward my blog or just tell them where I am and that I need prayer. Love yall!

i can't sleep

its 4:23 in the AM and i cannot sleep. some crazy things have been happening this past week. i'll tell you the story in hopes that i'm extremely tired when i'm finished with it. soooooo for the past month or so camp ozark has been heavy on my heart. i can't stop thinking about that place. i didn't know when i left whether or not i would be able to make it back to that lovely little establishment six miles west of mount ida, arkansas. feeling it so heavy on the heart, i finally let someone know how i was feeling. I told sarah johnson last wednesday that i would like to go back to camp this summer. she said that i should go! i told her that there was no way that i could go back to camp without someone subleasing my room. i told her that i'd pray about it and i asked her if she would too. so i casually prayed about it but knew that it wouldn't happen. it was soo late in may that i figured no one would need a sublease. on sunday, amanda neugebauer texted me and asked if anyone in my house needed a sublease for the summer. she said that one of her friends was interviewing for a job at the capitol with the governor and he needed a place to stay if he got the job. i told her my situation and was extremely giddy. right then and there, at bonnies in houston, i decided that if this guy subleased my room, i'd make my way back to camp ozark for the ENTIRE summer. so, i called pendley and asked her what i needed to do. she told me that i needed to email or call steven and let him know. i wanted to be sure of the sublease before anything happened.

well michael interviewed on Monday with the governor. we messaged each other back and forth on facebook and he told me that the interview went well. he told me that he would know by the end of the week whether or not he got the job. i emailed steven on monday night and told him my situation. i was afraid that i would have this guy subleasing my room and not getting hired back. steven didn't call me until wednesday morning. he actually woke me up. he talked to me and told me that they were actually good on guys but that he would love if i were to come up there and work. i was so excited! that was one hurdle that i needed to jump in order to obtain my goal of working at camp. the past two days have been crazy because i want to know whether or not michael got the job. i realized that two people would receive such huge blessings in this. michael would get a great job and i would have the chance to go back to the place i had so much fun. with that being said, i need to tell myself that if this doesn't work out, that's okay. it wasn't in God's plan for me to be back in mt. ida. i just feel like all of this wouldn't have happened for no reason though. there's a little part of me that is telling me that this is going to happen and then there is a bigger part of me telling me that i'm crazy to think this will happen. i want God to show up, i want him to prove me wrong. I started to think about going back even if he doesn't sublease my room. could I afford that? if i did that, i would need to accept that other loan money to even things out. that's something that i would have to think about. i just want to be at camp all summer. i guess if i really wanted to be there, i would do whatever it takes to get there.

If you're reading this, its probably friday morning or friday afternoon and by now, i probably know whether or not Michael got the job. i may or may not go to camp if he doesn't get the job. i want to find out if its going to be worth it. the thing is, i have a job at camp; i don't have a job in austin. yeah, i'll probably make around 2000 but almost 900 of that will go to rent and bills for this summer. if you could pray for my situation, that'd be great. i'll let you know everything that happens!

summer 2008

so I still don't have a job for the summer. I will probably wake up on Saturday morning and go try and talk to Brody. I'm going to turn in my application and try and persuade him to hire me. I will tell him that I'm experienced and that I could be a headguard and that I wouldn't do anything wrong and that I'm a good guard. I need a job. Even if I start in June, that would be fine. I'd work my butt off the entire summer. If not, I don't know what I'm going to do. I told Sarah Johnson yesterday that if I could find someone to sublease my room, I'd go to camp all summer. The chances of that happening are slim to none but I would love it if that were to happen. I wouldn't have to worry about paying rent or anything and I'd be saving around $1000. If I were to go to camp, I'd probably make somewhere around $2000. That on top of my $2000 scholarship from Oneok would be around $4000, which would be good to start off. I should be getting a lot more financial aid then the past years which will help me out a lot. Depending on how much scholarship I get, that will determine how much loan I need to take out. I'm just scared that I will miss out on stuff that I shouldn't. For example, last summer. It was a complete waste. I wish I would've subleased my room and gone to camp the entire summer. I could've subleased it to pretty much anyone. I was in the house for the majority of the summer by myself so it really wouldn't have mattered who stayed there. Of course, I was dumb and didn't think of it. I could've went home and worked for the pool, no, probably not. Stupid.

I don't want to spend this summer as depressed as last summer. That's what I'm so scared about. Its stuff like that that make me feel depressed.

i'm gonna watch true life now. thanks computer for being awesome and taking up my life now.

honey and milk

okay, I'm officially obsessed with missy higgins and the song "warm whispers." every time I listen to this song, I feel like I get a slice of love. This is definitely a love song to the max and that makes my heart feel warm inside. if you don't listen to her, please start to.

i'm about to go "dominate" an advertising final

staying gold

so I just found out that I have to take a final tomorrow afternoon in advertising. My professor can't find my extra credit and so I have to take the final in order to get an A. I wish I would've just done the other extra credit and this wouldn't have been a problem at all. Oh well, it will be alright. I'm currently at flight path trying to study but its not really working. I have to look over eighteen pages of notes to study for my final. I hope that its not hard and that he copies old questions from both of the tests. I could seriously study here for the next hour and a half and I would probably be set on the first half of the test.

In other news: I still don't have a job for the summer! Yay! I was planning on going up to westwood either today or yesterday but it didn't happen. Tomorrow, I will print out the app and hopefully go up there on Thursday. I would like to work there. I could go home and stay there until I needed to come back up and work.

I'm looking forward to this summer. Cotton and I are about to get a lot closer. Especially if we work at Westwood together. Its going to be ridiculous but fun. I can't believe that they have 16 lifeguards already hired. Where did these kids come from?

I have not been getting into the word much but the Lord is definitely moving in my life especially this last week and a half. He has taken some stuff that I've been dealing with and put it out of my life. Now, its up to me to see how long I can trust Him and seek Him. As long as I'm constantly pursuing Him, He won't let me stumble. praise it!



Currently obsessed with that song. I saw it on this TV show called Brothers and Sisters which I want to start watching, it looks good. It comes on on Sundays at 8. If it stays on during the summer, it will definitely be one of my summer activities!

miles away

so sorry I haven't posted in such a while. this past week of school has been heck and I had a lot of assignments and tests and papers to turn in. I didn't sleep much this past week but that's okay. i was so glad when the week was finally over. on friday, I came home from DG lunch and decided that I needed to sleep but it didn't really happen. I went to mess around at pease park with some friends and then went to watch brett rogers vs. will todd at enfield. brett won but it was because will todd is horrible at basketball. we had big leadership which was sobfest 2008. we sent off the seniors. crazy. afterwards, a big group of people came back to the alamo to watch the rockets LOSE. ahh, so crazy. i thought this was our year. we tried to play risk after that but it was not happening. on saturday, we signed up to play in the ignite volleyball tournament. little did I know what I'd be getting myself into. i almost got into a fight with cotton and i'm currently not talking to eli because he was a big d to me. we ended up forfeiting because we would've had to stay out there a while but we were ready to go. they didn't have any water or food out there which was ridiculous. after that we went to the roustabout dance show which was pretty cool. went to the ditch afterwards. awesome.

i still on the hunt for a summer a)job and b)song. i'm going to go up to westwood tomorrow to turn my application in and hopefully talk to brody about working and about how much i would love to work at westwood again. as far as summer song goes, i have a few nominees but we'll see after finals and everything what song I choose. i'm officially done with junior year next saturday. I may or may not have to take four finals. two for sure. i could find out right now if i have to take one but i'm going to hold out because i'm nervous and I hate looking at grades. right now, it looks like i'm going to have 1 a and four b's. i could've easily had three a's and two b's. if only i would've done better on the quizzes in intercultural and theories of persusion. who knows, maybe i can crank out an A in intercultural if i make a 100 on my final. i am obsessed with this song though...


it's all those nights by dear juliet. i know, they are kinda emo slash no one over the age of 17 probably listens to them but i really like it. don't judge me. or do it

i'm going downstairs.

summer song

so i've been listening to this band called dear juliet. its actually one guy and sometimes a girl sings. its incredibly emo and indie. i love it though. it reminds me a lot of high school and my past. its so weird how I hated high school but I love when I have moments where I can remember it in an instance. because of my huge connection with music, there's nothing better than this. i can remember times when I would lay in my room and think about the future and hoping that it would come fast. i would sit on my grandmother's back porch and watch the sunset and think about this moment right now. these moments seem just like yesterday but they are so far away. i thought high school was the longest years of my life but now my life is flying by way to fast. it seems only yesterday I was a senior in high school, dreading driving my truck because someone keyed it. I would still like to know who did it. i'm sure it was probably someone random and dumb. oh well, i can assure you they aren't where I am today.

college has gone by way to fast. I wish i was a freshman again, living in jestee with rob. we had so much fun. I had so much fun with my friends. we've lost touch with each other. i wish that we could live every day like we were freshman because we seriously had no worries and we did life well and together. i can't live in the past though. only the present and future. i was looking at facebook pictures...sorry. i wish i could go back to camp this summer! ahh! i should've tried to sublet my room last summer and go to camp all summer but I dunno if that would've worked out because i definitely would not have had as much money as I do now. oh well.

i've been listening to this song lately. i love this woman's voice although she looks like a hot mess singing.

worthy is the lamb

today is joe's birthday! yay! i baked (made?) some cinnamon rolls for him so I hope that he enjoyed them. i'm excited for this weekend and san antonio. i plan on staying at willie's on saturday night after we have dinner which i am very excited for.

club was great today. i'm going up to the school on wednesday so we'll see who I meet. hopefully I will see chris gluckman. i miss that kid. i wish we could hang out more. i need to be more intentional.

some reason, i've been feeling the urge to dance. (that sounds gay, i know) but w/e. i wanna dance for the Lord! ahh! what do I do?!

i'm ADD

blah blah blah

"i'm just bein hecteeee"

haha. wow. who in the heck is hannah montana? it wasn't until recent that I found out that hannah montana and miley cyrus were the same person. what's pop culture coming to?

well, I was browsing matt adams' blog earlier and he was talking about his blog rivals. i wouldn't consider matt and i rivals because this isn't my first rodeo. i think he has like five total posts? i might have five in april alone. i've been doing blog since december of 2005. i'm a veteran. can't compete with that. haha (i'm writing this only because I know that you are reading it right now)

well this week has been pretty crazy. I had a spanish composition on monday, paper due on tuesday, advertising project due today, theories paper due today and a spanish test tomorrow that I haven't been studying for. i might just wing it? i dunno. i feel like i can do alright. i need to go over some culture stuff. after I finish this post, I will start studying.



so this is my advertising project. don't make fun of the singing (its mine). i know that I suck. other than that, everything has been going good. i'm doing pretty well in school and i should get a couple of a's and a couple of b's. no c's! (hopefully) i'm excited for island party this weekend, its going to be great! daphne loves derby and stephen speaks. and volleyball tomorrow! yes. life is good.

i gave my blog link out to carly today. she will probably be reading this shortly. i want more people to read my blog but i don't know what that looks like as far as younglife goes. you can read a little about what happened here. I will give it out only to my friends and no high schoolers. don't want them to get the wrong idea. i'll write back soon!

dispense

wow, so I haven't written in here in a very long time so I figured I drop in a line or two. The last couple of weeks have been interesting. We're still looking for a house for next year slash Devin isn't living with us anymore. He decided very briefly that he wanted to live with Joe and that whole crew so I dunno. Honestly, I'm pretty disappointed in his decision because I figured he was pretty sold out with living with us. I know that I can't be mad about it but its going to take time because I feel let down by him which is something that goes away quickly. To be even more honest, this entire process of finding a house is so stressful that I don't want to deal with it. It's pretty ridiculous. I wish that I didn't have to deal with it. Unfortunately, I have to and I don't know how we're going to find somewhere to live this late. Hopefully everything will work itself out.

My heart is a constant battlefield between good and evil. While I know that I need Christ and his mission for me, I constantly sin and choose evil over good which scares me. I need to focus on the now and not the future. When I focus too much on the future, I tend to lose sight on the now and it gets ridiculous. Oh well, I gotta stay strong for Christ. I gots to. I know that I can and I know that he will give me wisdom and courage for every situation.

I really need to figure out what I'm doing this summer. I have to turn in my Westwood application THIS WEEK! If I don't there is probably no way that I will be able to work there. Its such an easy job and I feel like I can make more money this summer than I did last summer plus my financial aid package should be pretty large which is awesome!

Well, I know that I didn't add any pictures to this post but no one really reads it anyway so...yeah.

do it righhhh

So today has been a very unproductive day. I have done nothing since I got home. I did most of my scholarship application and I haven't made the slides for club tonight yet. I plan on going on a run before I do any of that stuff. I wasn't able to run yesterday because I didn't have my tennis shoes. Its rainy outside which is good!

This weekend was parents weekend and it was good. I got to hang out with my Mom and we had a blast. We went to Oasis on Saturday and then I went to play some volleyball with friends and that was pretty fun. After that, I just laid around all day and watch some of Mulan. It was good. Saturday night we watched The Bourne Ultimatum and it was pretty good. I've seen it before but I wanted to watch it again. Currently, I am sitting on my couch not doing anything. I missed a meeting that I had for ADV because I was going to go to Westwood but that didn't happen. I think I'm going to go for a run and then come home and work on the powerpoint some because there isn't internet at the club room.

Good for now.

i'll meet you there

so I found this new band called Owl City and I've become immediately obsessed. It's actually just one guy who is a Christian and he loves the Lord a lot! You should check them out

www.myspace.com/owlcity

So last night we had placement and it was so great! I am extremely pleased with our new leaders! I was way more excited than last year. We got Russell, Preston Plachy, Joy Hallman and Katie Palmerton. They are studs and I can't wait to hang out with them! They are going to be my new besties and its awesome. We're watching the basketball game right now so its crazy but I wanted to write a quick update.

Have a great one!

5 Random Facts

So you know on YouTube how people started to do the 5 random facts, well, I've been wanting to do it on my blog forever so now here's my five random facts! (in no particular order)

1. I try not to step on cracks when I walk - some reason, I will go out of my way not to step on a crack. I do it subconsciously. I'll be walking and I will keep my eye on the ground and make sure that I don't step on a crack. Sometimes, I make myself step on them just to prove that I'm not crazy.

2. I play club volleyball for Texas - my junior year here at Texas, I started to play club volleyball. It was awesome. I tried out the fall of my sophomore year and didn't make it. I was pretty disappointed, I saved the email from the captain telling me why I didn't make it. It was pretty bad but I decided to try out again and I did and I made it! It was awesome. I was the second string setter on the second team but I felt like I could've started. I got to go to Michigan last semester and play in a tournament and it was awesome. I feel in love with Michigan State University and its campus. I hope that next year, we get to go back to East Lansing!

3. I think I will marry a girl who plays the guitar and sings - I have yet to meet any girls here at Texas that fit this mold. I'm still searching for her and hopefully I can find her.

4. I'm probably one of two people in this world that eats Funyuns - When I say this its because there has to be at least one other person who eats them because they still sell them. I've received a lot of flack from my friends because I eat these suckers. They are good to me because I like onions and onion flavored chips. I'd appreciate it if people would stop judging me for it. teehee

5. I watch the TV show LOST religiously - I have never been more obsessed with a TV show in my life. I freaking love this show. I watch it every time it comes on like a Nazi. I even went as far as to start playing a game online that told you more information about a side-story that was still important to the plot. I played it got a lot of clues for the new season 4 and it was awesome. I don't want people talking or any lights on, I just want it to be me and LOST. It's pretty ridiculous right now and I have no idea what's going to happen in the near future on the show. It will good to see if any of my predictions end up being right or not. We'll just have to see!

Well, I hope that these five were pretty random and awesome. I have Bible Study downstairs so I'll holla back.

urgent care

So currently I am sitting in urgent care waiting to be seen. I think I might have a hernia. Last night I was laying in bed and I tried to sit up. When I tried this, I felt this rush of discomfort in the groin area and I started freaking out a bit. I had no idea what going on. Immediately, I got on the internet and looked up 'hernia' to see some symptoms and causes of it. After spanish, I came here and have been sitting here since about 11:45 (its currently 1:35). I hope that its not a hernia and maybe just a horribly pulled muscle, but I don't know. One, I have no idea how I would get a hernia because I can't remember the last time I lifted something heave and two, it was so all of a sudden.

What that being sad, I honestly believe that God is punishing me for how I have been acting recently; especially this past weekend. This weekend was not good for me as far as pursuing the Lord. I started to let myself stumble and end up falling on the ground very hard, so to speak. I completely shut off the Lord from my life this past weekend and didn't bother to think of Him. Because of that, I feel like he is punishing me. Good that I see coming out of this is one, God does love me and he wants me in his kingdom. He wants me to go out and love and serve my neighbor. I've had doubts whether God knows me or loves me but now I feel like I have a better sense of that. Two, punishment sucks. I don't even know if I have a hernia yet but the suffering that I've had to go through the past couple of hours sucks. My hernia doesn't hurt that bad but the fear or having one and having to get surgery is enough to put my smoked turkey sandwich on rye that I had for lunch, in a roller coaster in my stomach.

I ask that you would pray for me. Not only for my hernia problem but that I would fall back into his arms. I need to start seeking Him more and more. I will fall into a very dark place if I don't. This weekend, I kinda got a sense of where I could potentially end up if I don't have Jesus in my life. I know now that He wants me even more than I want Him at times, which is so good for my heart to hear.

UPDATED: Well, I finally got out of the urgent care and I don't have a hernia! yes! We believe it's just a pulled muscle down there where it hurts probably the worse. Oh well! I'm not going to club tonight because I need to take a teezy (take it easy).

Praise Him!

in a nutshell

so like I said in my last post, I went home this past weekend for Easter. It was a weird weekend for sure. I thought a lot about different things in my life and stuff and honestly, I'm scared of what will happen in the future if I'm totally in control. I know that if God isn't in control of my life, I don't know where I will end up. I didn't really pursue the Lord at all this weekend minus the talk that I had with him on Friday night, which was good. I didn't feel any motivation to do it, which is scary.

On Saturday I went to this AMAZING crawfish boil with my sister Linda and her husband Cole. It was at one of their friends house. It was sooooo good, probably the best crawfish that I ever had. It looked a lot like this. The potatoes and corn were great as well. The Tony Chacherie's went great with both. They ended up having a lot of dead crawfish so they ended up taking a lot of it back hoping to get more. When they returned, instead of crawfish, they were giving a couple of pounds of jumbo shrimp which were amazing. It was a great day filled with crawfish, family, friends, beer and laughter. I got to hang out with my brother Andrew as well as my nephew Brendon. It was a great day! A long day of drinking and crawfish can definitely make one very tired. I came home that night and tried to go straight to bed (but we both know that didn't happen).

Sunday morning I went to Mass with my family and that was great. When we got home, I wanted to take a quick nap because I knew that I had to drive later on. I got to Ramon's (my cousin where we had Easter at) house around 2 and a lot of my family was there. I ate some pretty good bbq and all the fixin's and watched Texas beat Miami. Towards the end of the day, most of the fam was getting tired of just talking to each other so we decided that we were going to play a few games. First, we played the traditional Egg Toss. I played with my older cousin Crystal and ended up getting second. It was a lot of fun. Of course, the egg cracked when I caught it. After that, we had a wheel barrel race and I was teamed up with Ramon. We won. Yes. Success. Honestly, it was so great to see so much joy in my family. We were all outside just hanging out on this great day. I was so excited for that, it was very heartwarming to see.

So over the break I decided that (in list form) I will either do/not do these following things:
1. Go to the gym more
1a. Start lifting weights - talk to roommates who know about this because honestly, I've never lifted weights on a consistent basis to know what exactly to do.

2. Run more often. The huge block around where I live is perfect to run so I would like to start running that more often.

3. Don't eat fast food. For anyone who knows me, I'm obsessed with fast food; particularly Wendy's and Whataburger. I can get down on these places so I decided that if I want to lose weight, I will have to stop eating fast food.

4. Don't drink Dr. Pepper. Okay so, this is going to be tough. Dr. Pepper is definitely a huge part of my life. There is one sitting next to my Bible right now. I would consider myself in a very deep, serious relationship with Dr. Pepper, we're that close.

5. Start eating healthy. I will try my hardest to watch what I eat from now on.

So hopefully, I will be able to lose a few (a lot) of pounds by doing these five, simple things. I will be updating you and letting you know how everything does. Until then, love you.

homesville

so i'm in TC. its been great. I went to bravos last night with the folks and had some drinks and it was goooood. i also got to watch LOST which was redic. man, i hope danielle doesn't die because I want to see her flashback and find out how she made it to the island in the first place. in the chronicle chat this morning, people were voicing their opinions how they also wanted to see that happen.

well, things as of late have been weird. i wish i could tell you more that has been going on but i can't. there are things that i'm dealing with that i don't know how to handle. its something that I need to work out with the Lord. i don't know what he'll do it or will happen but i know that something will come of this. the Lord has my heart, i know He does. i shouldn't worry.

i think i might run to my grandmother's house. the sunsets in texas city are redic. i've always known that but never really stopped to take a look. i'm afraid that if i run over there 1) no one will be there 2) i will be forced to run back in the night. i guess it will be okay. it will be a lot better than what I have been doing all day. yeah, dumb.

listen to sigur ros, they will change your life.

WARNING: this will be depressing

have you ever thought about the perfect life? you know, the life that you've envisioned, imagined since you were little? for me, I can't remember the last time I haven't thought about my "perfect" life. i wish i could tell you more about it, but it would be too weird. every situation that i go through, i wonder how different it would be if I was in my "perfect" world. i guess things would be too perfect, but i feel like people around me have this. my "perfect" life would definitely involve me serving and loving people better. i do a horrible job at both of these things and i think that is what draws people away from me. i guess I can tell you some of the stuff. of course, the perfect world would have me not worrying about anything monetary. i wouldn't have to worry about tuition, rent, bills or extra cash. I wouldn't have to be bogged down by money. i would be able to do things (like working at camp instead of westwood last summer) that i really want to do in life. i would have a better car. most importantly, i would be able to serve people better and love people. i feel like I let the money and the material things get in the way of me doing these things for other people. Jesus, how can I live in the present and love and serve better?

I haven't been pursuing Christ at all lately. its becoming hard. i'm becoming complacent. i need Him to reveal himself to me. seeking Him is a struggle right now. there are times when i feel like i don't even need Him, that with all of these "perfect" things it would be easier to love Him, seek Him and pursue Him better. what's that verse about suffering? as I was going to bible gateway to find verses about suffering, i saw this...

“[The God of All Comfort] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
2 corinthians 1: 3-4

if only I could believe this wholeheartedly. why don't I? its like i need to see comfort and not just feel it. haha the next verse says...

"For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
5-7

this post is very long, sorry about that. i didn't even get to talk about what is really on my heart. something that has been troubling me a lot lately is my relationship with my (old friends). two years ago tonight, we were in dobie watching count of monte cristo. we made these bracelets out of petzl rope and had a blast. we were all so excited because of the ski trip the next day. those were the days. if you would've told me then that things would be like they are now, i wouldn't believe you. i thought we would all be best friends forever. it seems like yesterday. the way that my relationship with the tripod (lucy, germs, andie), lontoc, durant, ali, and all of the guys (michael, boone, brad, joe) has changed so much. change that i never wanted. what am I supposed to do?

i'm going to email boone and holla at him. please be praying that i would find comfort in Christ and that my trip to colorado with some of my besties will be great and that i will have opportunities to share my heart with them so that they too can be praying for me. i love you all, all ye few.

ah

i need joy in my life right now. at bible study on tuesday we talked about how we've seen jesus in the past week and i haven't really. i need to see Him more. i'm not getting enough of him. yesterday, the depression kinda hit hard and it put me in a weird situation. i slept for four hours yesterday (nap) and woke up feeling like shit. it was horrible. now, i have a small head cold that's getting on my nerves. this next week is going to be hell! i've gotta do a lot on friday, saturday and sunday so i can get back on track with everything.

be praying that God would give me joy. it's hard to be joyful when my ipod and best pen get taken from me on the same day. what the heck. and now i have this head cold. to top that off, i'm the fattest i've ever been! I haven't been eating good nor working out. i really want to go to volleyball practice tonight and get a good work out in but i can't or i won't....maybe i can try to find someone to pepper with. i really need to work out because i'm getting way fat. oh well

pray that I would seek the Lord and not worldly desires because that's what i've been doing lately. i've only been thinking about myself and not others. i need to be more selfless.

pray for me

spring break

so i think i'm going skiing over spring break! cotton, devin, russell, jeremy, ali, janice and i are going to stay at Ali's cabin in Colorado over Spring Break. I think I will be skiing for three days and all of the other guys (except russell) will ski four days. There is no way that I could physically do it. I talked to my Mom today about paying for it or most of it and she sounded like she would. She did her typical, "Well, you still have this wrong with you, something that you own..." In this case, she was referring to my inspection stick on the truck. It expired last month. Oh well, I hope that everything works out and the parentals can help me out.

I'm so scared about grades. I feel like if I do bad on something, it will take me forever to check the grades. I need to get over that fear and man up and accept it.

I'm way bummed about volleyball. I went to watch the guys play on Saturday and I wanted to play so badly. They were doing really well. Apparently they went undefeated which is awesome. Probably the first time in a very long time where they hadn't lost. This could be very good for them because I think the better teams are in the south anyway. They could probably beat every team in the north. I would like to keep up with my skills and not lose them. Hopefully, during the summer, I could play sand a couple of times a week. I should try and find a group of people who are willing to play on a consistent basis every week. I'm already excited for next season. Stewart, Woo, Shawn and hopefully Cullen are coming back. There will for sure be a second team. All of those guys will definitely be on the second team because their positions will be filled on the first team. As far as Jay and Gaspar go, I'm not sure. Gaspar will most likely stay on the first team and depending on the coach, Jay could potentially be on the second team. We'll have to see what setters there are next season to see where they get placed. If Ryan comes back then Matt will for sure be on the second team but if he doesn't, he could get put on the first team and I might start on the second? It doesn't really matter for me, I want to set. We could both end up on the first team, who knows. You can't really assume anything.

This has been an extremely long post. I'm pretty sure that this post contains no run-on's or fragments, I'm trying to keep it classy. Lates

you drive me crazy

oh man. money is going to drive me up the wall. i have to buy a new cell phone, $65 for younglife retreat, lots of money for bills. the list goes on and on. why is money such a strain on life?! i hate it! it makes my mom go crazy at me. sometimes i feel like she's a drug dealer and she wants her money or she will kill me. i swear that's how she makes me feel sometimes.

I haven't been giving that stress and problems to God and that's why its hitting me all of a sudden, so hard. Lord, I pray that you would give mom my and I peace about money and that we won't dwell on it. If we do dwell, it will start to consume my life and it will let Satan tell me that I need more and more and its all about money. I know that he tries to tell me that all the time but I pray that you would intervene and keep my mind focused on you and on giving for your kingdom. You will provide for me. I know this is completely true. The past two years is a testament to how you have and will continue to provide for me.

I'm excited about my new cell! Lord, bless me with a small job this semester! Any kind of income would be great! I would like that and I think it would keep me up with school in that I would know what I need to do.

I'm going to watch chris play basketball today! go trojans!

fifth wheel

is what I feel like when I'm my roommates and their girlfriends, awkward. i'm glad that I don't have pressure to show up with a girlfriend. who cares, it's not a big deal.

ok so volleyball is crazy right now as in I don't know if I will be playing because my team has all quit. what the heck? adler quit and apparently a lot of the other players quit as well. maybe this is a sign from God. This is an extremely crazy semester and I need all the time I can get to pursue kids and my education. I dunno, we'll see what happens this weekend when we go to college station. i'm pumped to go to college station to hang out with henry! I've missed him a lot and hopefully we'll do something fun tomorrow night.

be praying for volleyball and an answer from the Lord about what to do!

i'm off the college station!

the struggle

i feel like the only love i give out sometimes is tough love. i think because it's the only love that I was given a child so it's the only thing I know. i'm trying to find a way to give love that is pure and from the heart. i don't want it to be fake or structured but real.

on a side note: i've been trying to get Jesus in everyday. He's already revealed to me that I need to do a better job at loving my parents specifically my Mom. She's in dyer need of joy in her life and I pray that through Him, she's able to find that. My mom knows truth and spirit but I feel like she can't fully let go and let God. Pray for her and that she would be able to be vulnerable even though the world tells her to do it on her own. Like me, she is also very independent and that's what I feel is holding her back.

a lot of stuff is going wrong with volleyball. the first team is being way crazy which is causing our coach to want to not coach us which I can't let happen. If he leaves, then I don't see any reason for me or any of us to stay. It's not worth it. He's worked so hard this past semester and I know how he feels when one of his best players is taken away. Be praying that I can act godly in this situation and I won't let my emotions get the best of me. I know that Adler can coach us to victory, he's a great coach. I want to step up and be a better player. I want to play where ever he puts me. I can definitely set all-around, I just need him to be confident that I can do it.

listen to kina grannis, she's my new obsession.
www.myspace.com/kinagrannis

alone in an extremely crowded room.

this is how i feel right now.

i'm in need of a good cry. while listening to death cab.

that's how i feel, get over it.

kthanksbye

lamez

so I haven't done a very good job at posting here. sorry about that. well, i've been pretty good about getting into the word everyday. I wasn't able to do it on saturday and sunday because I got extremely lazy and I might not be able to do it today because it's already 1:20 and I need to make some pb and j sandwiches for lunch tomorrow. Currently, I'm sitting in my room, listening to MIA and hangin out.

club was great tonight! chris and tyler came and we went to main event. it was pretty crazy and everyone smelled really bad (due to intense lazer tag) and it also smelled like weed. but i don't think that it was from our kids.

i'll come back tomorrow? and write some. LOOOONG day! einsteins at 8-9, class from 9-330 practice from 645-10. ahhh!! jesus, I need a break! this weekend!

back in austin

so i'm back in austin. yay!

i went camping with friends in bastrop and it was...fun. seven of us slept in a tent that was suited for four.

i'm super pumped about school and this semester. i can tell that everything around the house is different. the overall vibe is much better than last. i'm excited about volleyball and the team. i wanna try and get to know some of these guys better than i do. i did a horrible job at loving these guys where they're at and i want to do better. every time i start to blog, i always get tired of it so i should do it when i don't want to so i won't feel tired of it.

until next time.