do it righhhh

So today has been a very unproductive day. I have done nothing since I got home. I did most of my scholarship application and I haven't made the slides for club tonight yet. I plan on going on a run before I do any of that stuff. I wasn't able to run yesterday because I didn't have my tennis shoes. Its rainy outside which is good!

This weekend was parents weekend and it was good. I got to hang out with my Mom and we had a blast. We went to Oasis on Saturday and then I went to play some volleyball with friends and that was pretty fun. After that, I just laid around all day and watch some of Mulan. It was good. Saturday night we watched The Bourne Ultimatum and it was pretty good. I've seen it before but I wanted to watch it again. Currently, I am sitting on my couch not doing anything. I missed a meeting that I had for ADV because I was going to go to Westwood but that didn't happen. I think I'm going to go for a run and then come home and work on the powerpoint some because there isn't internet at the club room.

Good for now.

i'll meet you there

so I found this new band called Owl City and I've become immediately obsessed. It's actually just one guy who is a Christian and he loves the Lord a lot! You should check them out

www.myspace.com/owlcity

So last night we had placement and it was so great! I am extremely pleased with our new leaders! I was way more excited than last year. We got Russell, Preston Plachy, Joy Hallman and Katie Palmerton. They are studs and I can't wait to hang out with them! They are going to be my new besties and its awesome. We're watching the basketball game right now so its crazy but I wanted to write a quick update.

Have a great one!

5 Random Facts

So you know on YouTube how people started to do the 5 random facts, well, I've been wanting to do it on my blog forever so now here's my five random facts! (in no particular order)

1. I try not to step on cracks when I walk - some reason, I will go out of my way not to step on a crack. I do it subconsciously. I'll be walking and I will keep my eye on the ground and make sure that I don't step on a crack. Sometimes, I make myself step on them just to prove that I'm not crazy.

2. I play club volleyball for Texas - my junior year here at Texas, I started to play club volleyball. It was awesome. I tried out the fall of my sophomore year and didn't make it. I was pretty disappointed, I saved the email from the captain telling me why I didn't make it. It was pretty bad but I decided to try out again and I did and I made it! It was awesome. I was the second string setter on the second team but I felt like I could've started. I got to go to Michigan last semester and play in a tournament and it was awesome. I feel in love with Michigan State University and its campus. I hope that next year, we get to go back to East Lansing!

3. I think I will marry a girl who plays the guitar and sings - I have yet to meet any girls here at Texas that fit this mold. I'm still searching for her and hopefully I can find her.

4. I'm probably one of two people in this world that eats Funyuns - When I say this its because there has to be at least one other person who eats them because they still sell them. I've received a lot of flack from my friends because I eat these suckers. They are good to me because I like onions and onion flavored chips. I'd appreciate it if people would stop judging me for it. teehee

5. I watch the TV show LOST religiously - I have never been more obsessed with a TV show in my life. I freaking love this show. I watch it every time it comes on like a Nazi. I even went as far as to start playing a game online that told you more information about a side-story that was still important to the plot. I played it got a lot of clues for the new season 4 and it was awesome. I don't want people talking or any lights on, I just want it to be me and LOST. It's pretty ridiculous right now and I have no idea what's going to happen in the near future on the show. It will good to see if any of my predictions end up being right or not. We'll just have to see!

Well, I hope that these five were pretty random and awesome. I have Bible Study downstairs so I'll holla back.

urgent care

So currently I am sitting in urgent care waiting to be seen. I think I might have a hernia. Last night I was laying in bed and I tried to sit up. When I tried this, I felt this rush of discomfort in the groin area and I started freaking out a bit. I had no idea what going on. Immediately, I got on the internet and looked up 'hernia' to see some symptoms and causes of it. After spanish, I came here and have been sitting here since about 11:45 (its currently 1:35). I hope that its not a hernia and maybe just a horribly pulled muscle, but I don't know. One, I have no idea how I would get a hernia because I can't remember the last time I lifted something heave and two, it was so all of a sudden.

What that being sad, I honestly believe that God is punishing me for how I have been acting recently; especially this past weekend. This weekend was not good for me as far as pursuing the Lord. I started to let myself stumble and end up falling on the ground very hard, so to speak. I completely shut off the Lord from my life this past weekend and didn't bother to think of Him. Because of that, I feel like he is punishing me. Good that I see coming out of this is one, God does love me and he wants me in his kingdom. He wants me to go out and love and serve my neighbor. I've had doubts whether God knows me or loves me but now I feel like I have a better sense of that. Two, punishment sucks. I don't even know if I have a hernia yet but the suffering that I've had to go through the past couple of hours sucks. My hernia doesn't hurt that bad but the fear or having one and having to get surgery is enough to put my smoked turkey sandwich on rye that I had for lunch, in a roller coaster in my stomach.

I ask that you would pray for me. Not only for my hernia problem but that I would fall back into his arms. I need to start seeking Him more and more. I will fall into a very dark place if I don't. This weekend, I kinda got a sense of where I could potentially end up if I don't have Jesus in my life. I know now that He wants me even more than I want Him at times, which is so good for my heart to hear.

UPDATED: Well, I finally got out of the urgent care and I don't have a hernia! yes! We believe it's just a pulled muscle down there where it hurts probably the worse. Oh well! I'm not going to club tonight because I need to take a teezy (take it easy).

Praise Him!

in a nutshell

so like I said in my last post, I went home this past weekend for Easter. It was a weird weekend for sure. I thought a lot about different things in my life and stuff and honestly, I'm scared of what will happen in the future if I'm totally in control. I know that if God isn't in control of my life, I don't know where I will end up. I didn't really pursue the Lord at all this weekend minus the talk that I had with him on Friday night, which was good. I didn't feel any motivation to do it, which is scary.

On Saturday I went to this AMAZING crawfish boil with my sister Linda and her husband Cole. It was at one of their friends house. It was sooooo good, probably the best crawfish that I ever had. It looked a lot like this. The potatoes and corn were great as well. The Tony Chacherie's went great with both. They ended up having a lot of dead crawfish so they ended up taking a lot of it back hoping to get more. When they returned, instead of crawfish, they were giving a couple of pounds of jumbo shrimp which were amazing. It was a great day filled with crawfish, family, friends, beer and laughter. I got to hang out with my brother Andrew as well as my nephew Brendon. It was a great day! A long day of drinking and crawfish can definitely make one very tired. I came home that night and tried to go straight to bed (but we both know that didn't happen).

Sunday morning I went to Mass with my family and that was great. When we got home, I wanted to take a quick nap because I knew that I had to drive later on. I got to Ramon's (my cousin where we had Easter at) house around 2 and a lot of my family was there. I ate some pretty good bbq and all the fixin's and watched Texas beat Miami. Towards the end of the day, most of the fam was getting tired of just talking to each other so we decided that we were going to play a few games. First, we played the traditional Egg Toss. I played with my older cousin Crystal and ended up getting second. It was a lot of fun. Of course, the egg cracked when I caught it. After that, we had a wheel barrel race and I was teamed up with Ramon. We won. Yes. Success. Honestly, it was so great to see so much joy in my family. We were all outside just hanging out on this great day. I was so excited for that, it was very heartwarming to see.

So over the break I decided that (in list form) I will either do/not do these following things:
1. Go to the gym more
1a. Start lifting weights - talk to roommates who know about this because honestly, I've never lifted weights on a consistent basis to know what exactly to do.

2. Run more often. The huge block around where I live is perfect to run so I would like to start running that more often.

3. Don't eat fast food. For anyone who knows me, I'm obsessed with fast food; particularly Wendy's and Whataburger. I can get down on these places so I decided that if I want to lose weight, I will have to stop eating fast food.

4. Don't drink Dr. Pepper. Okay so, this is going to be tough. Dr. Pepper is definitely a huge part of my life. There is one sitting next to my Bible right now. I would consider myself in a very deep, serious relationship with Dr. Pepper, we're that close.

5. Start eating healthy. I will try my hardest to watch what I eat from now on.

So hopefully, I will be able to lose a few (a lot) of pounds by doing these five, simple things. I will be updating you and letting you know how everything does. Until then, love you.

homesville

so i'm in TC. its been great. I went to bravos last night with the folks and had some drinks and it was goooood. i also got to watch LOST which was redic. man, i hope danielle doesn't die because I want to see her flashback and find out how she made it to the island in the first place. in the chronicle chat this morning, people were voicing their opinions how they also wanted to see that happen.

well, things as of late have been weird. i wish i could tell you more that has been going on but i can't. there are things that i'm dealing with that i don't know how to handle. its something that I need to work out with the Lord. i don't know what he'll do it or will happen but i know that something will come of this. the Lord has my heart, i know He does. i shouldn't worry.

i think i might run to my grandmother's house. the sunsets in texas city are redic. i've always known that but never really stopped to take a look. i'm afraid that if i run over there 1) no one will be there 2) i will be forced to run back in the night. i guess it will be okay. it will be a lot better than what I have been doing all day. yeah, dumb.

listen to sigur ros, they will change your life.

WARNING: this will be depressing

have you ever thought about the perfect life? you know, the life that you've envisioned, imagined since you were little? for me, I can't remember the last time I haven't thought about my "perfect" life. i wish i could tell you more about it, but it would be too weird. every situation that i go through, i wonder how different it would be if I was in my "perfect" world. i guess things would be too perfect, but i feel like people around me have this. my "perfect" life would definitely involve me serving and loving people better. i do a horrible job at both of these things and i think that is what draws people away from me. i guess I can tell you some of the stuff. of course, the perfect world would have me not worrying about anything monetary. i wouldn't have to worry about tuition, rent, bills or extra cash. I wouldn't have to be bogged down by money. i would be able to do things (like working at camp instead of westwood last summer) that i really want to do in life. i would have a better car. most importantly, i would be able to serve people better and love people. i feel like I let the money and the material things get in the way of me doing these things for other people. Jesus, how can I live in the present and love and serve better?

I haven't been pursuing Christ at all lately. its becoming hard. i'm becoming complacent. i need Him to reveal himself to me. seeking Him is a struggle right now. there are times when i feel like i don't even need Him, that with all of these "perfect" things it would be easier to love Him, seek Him and pursue Him better. what's that verse about suffering? as I was going to bible gateway to find verses about suffering, i saw this...

“[The God of All Comfort] Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”
2 corinthians 1: 3-4

if only I could believe this wholeheartedly. why don't I? its like i need to see comfort and not just feel it. haha the next verse says...

"For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
5-7

this post is very long, sorry about that. i didn't even get to talk about what is really on my heart. something that has been troubling me a lot lately is my relationship with my (old friends). two years ago tonight, we were in dobie watching count of monte cristo. we made these bracelets out of petzl rope and had a blast. we were all so excited because of the ski trip the next day. those were the days. if you would've told me then that things would be like they are now, i wouldn't believe you. i thought we would all be best friends forever. it seems like yesterday. the way that my relationship with the tripod (lucy, germs, andie), lontoc, durant, ali, and all of the guys (michael, boone, brad, joe) has changed so much. change that i never wanted. what am I supposed to do?

i'm going to email boone and holla at him. please be praying that i would find comfort in Christ and that my trip to colorado with some of my besties will be great and that i will have opportunities to share my heart with them so that they too can be praying for me. i love you all, all ye few.