what ever happened to sunset black?

so this band that i happened to find by happenstance, i've never heard of again. i have three of their songs on my itunes in TC and that's it. i can never find anything about them on the internet because their site is always down. oh well.

i love coming home and listening to the music i have on my itunes. it brings me back to high school years. oh high school...looking back at it, i think i would've liked to have tonight tonight by smashing pumpkins to be our class song. it's pretty goooooood!

this christmas was AMAZING. everything i got, i really wanted or needed! i got a north face jacket that's amazing. and i got a new pocket-sized Bible and moleskine journal. my mom bought me an itrip too! and don't forget underwear and socks!

welp, enough rambling. i'm off to rule the day! (at 6:21 PM)

finals

well, i think i'm going to end up with one a two b's and a C for this semester. definitely not great but better than last. so i'm hoping that next semester i end up with three a's and one b or all a's. i gotta get my gpa up. i gotta get into the com school! blah! as soon as i get into the com school, hopefully everything will go great!

i'm "studying" right now for astronomy. i need to pass to keep my C. which shouldn't be hard. there are 100 questions on the test. maybe i should get back to studying and then so i can dominate it.

bethany dillon - beautiful

open eyes

wow, i'll never get tired of listening to this song. its awesome how you can connect with something else other than another person. i love listening to this song over and over again. i could do it all the time. i'll go ahead and say that this is my all-time favorite song. the version that i have on my itunes is the best. i think they're may be two versions and i have both of them on my itunes but only i know which one is better.

i can still remember that night where i got on robs computer in TC and i typed in "emo" in the search bar on WinMx (remember that!? lol)

EMO-the early november-open eyes

was the very first song that popped up so i downloaded it. i listened to it and i can't remember if i was initially blown away or if it took some time. i know that when i downloaded it at his house, i went home and dl'ed it at mine. i think we were juniors or sophomores in high school. most likely juniors. ever since then, it's been my favorite song to listen to. talk about some emotion. now, my dream is to see them play it live in concert. maybe the next time they are headlining, they will play it. can't really express in words what that song does/means for me. it's amazing. i feel like i've been on a long journey with TEN. from the acoustic ep to the last song on the path, they've come a long way!

i should probably start studying.

i gotta tell someone

ok so my spanish professor thinks i hate her. why?! she over heard me talking to some of the students about something that had happened when we were doing our skit. i think she took what I was saying totally wrong. i guess she felt hurt and offended by what I said. i'm almost positive she thinks i don't like her. apparently she thinks that i have been saying a lot of negative things towards her and the class behind her back. i've never had sooo much drama with a professor in college.

going to school, trying to love everyone can be extremely hard. in my case, i forgot to love my own professor. i want to do something for my professor so she knows that i don't hate her. what could i do? i guess buying her something would be the good thing to do. i just don't want her to think that and i feel like crap because i haven't been loving here well. i feel sooooo bad. oh well, it's time to study.

:(

"mighty to men, light of the earth sending his son to echo his worth."

waiting for the adventure

so this has been a great weekend. hopefully i did good on my astronomy test. the grades have been posted since last week but i've been too afraid to check it out. if I made at aleast an 80, i would be soo happy. it would bring my average to passing which is all I care about now.

i had a really bad weekend. spiritually, i'm dead right now. i haven't been pursuing the Lord or anyone for that matter. i'm spiritually dehydrated (if that makes since). i know what i need, what i want but i'm not seeking it. i'm trying to find other things in this world to fill me up. even when surrounded by friends who are passionately pursuing the Lord. pray for me.

well, we lost to a&m. yeah, i know, gag all over the floor. i felt sick after the game. i've never felt so sick from watching a football game. i hope that we get to go to the cotton bowl. that would be sooooo awesome! i think we'd play auburn and that would be a good game. if we won, we'd definitely get some confidence back going into next season.

it's 12:39 AM and i have to wake up at 6:45 tomorrow, i'm going to sleep.

texas city

so i'm in texas city for the thanksgiving holiday. so far, it's been very uneventful. last night was fun. we had a fire at cotton's house and some people came over and we just hang out. i guess i should expect to come home and find tons of things to do. i can't wait for Christmas. i mean, i don't really know what to do/how to feel about texas city and the people who live here. what am i supposed to do? i guess i can only love on these people anyway I can. it's so different from austin. people here are just, eh, different.

i need a spiritual rejuvenation. someway or another. i feel so dry. like i'm not receiving the Spirit at all. i'm sure it's something that i'm doing or not doing. what should i do? any advice. i could probably start by reading my Bible on a daily basis instead of a weekly basis. loving people better, being more thankful, serving better. pray for that. and pray for anderson high school and it's freshman.

lyrics like it's my business:
gravity is workin' against me.

soundtrack of our lives

have you ever thought about writting a soundtrack for your life? you know, those 15 to 20 songs that give that special feeling. i've started to write them down and i carry them almost everywhere with me. i feel like these songs are the songs I could listen to for the rest of my life and be ok with it. of course, there is a good amount of TEN songs on there but what can I say? they pretty much have a hold on my life. i think it's one of the greatest thing how a song can say how you're feeling, how life is going and everything else. a lot of times, you use lyrics or songs to let people know how life is really going. i use that all the time.

man, i love music.
all-time favorite song: (as I listen to it now) open eyes - the early november (the version that I have of it on my itunes. i've found other versions but this one is definitely the best)
:)

will you shelter me?

so i've been on a posting hiatus for the past uh, few months. guess i should recap what's been happening in my world.

i came to sophomore year with very high expectations. i really wanted to play volleyball for the texas club team but that didn't happen. i tried out and thought i did fairly well but ended up not making it. i was sorta pissed afterwards but God definitely granted me peace about that. school is going, uh, pretty well. as of now, my tuition still isn't paid for because the stupid fin aid office is still holding my funds. LET IT GO! ahhhh! i'm doing pretty good in all of my classes expect for astronomy.

younglife: is going good. taylor and i are trying our hardest to not lose hope and stay encouraged. this one kid gave us a fake phone number. that was pretty cool. this other kid gave me his phone number and seemed really interested in yl. i'm definitely sucking at being consistent in his life. i should probably call him tomorrow and see how's he's doing. the team is great, we suck a football though. we beat maccallum in basketball yesterday. we were down by like 20 and managed to come back.

jobs: i'm currently 0-for-like-6-or-7. apparently people just don't like to hire here in austin. oh well, the parentals are definitely being a HUGE blessing in my life and i don't thank them enough.

house: wow, what can i say about this house. from the constant mess to the piss found on my floor, it's been a rollercoaster ride.

and now, lyrics:
the truth is you know I'm having a moment right now where everything makes sense well, I think some feeling from this sliding, smooth guitar would shred right now. and all those nights I lost by thinking way too hard and long, I finally realize just by adding some deep end, I feel alright. the truth is, you know we could never find a better friend to work with. you make us feel at home. it would make me so happy right now to hear some piano being played by my oldest friend. and all those nights I lost by thinking way too hard and long, I finally realize that I need some drums cracking, and I feel fine. the truth is, my love, that I love you so much that it hurts, oh. and as cheesy as I sound I've been practicing for the moment when I do, oh I do. and all those nights I lost by thinking way too hard and long, I finally realize as long as I have you, I'll be alright. the truth is, you know, I'd be nothing without everyone, oh.

i'm back

well, i just got back from camp. camp, oh camp ozark. i had one of the most amazing experiences ever! i had soooo much fun hangin out with my guys and getting to know some awesome people. overall, i'm so glad and thankful that I worked there. i sacrificed soo much to work there, probably more than i'll ever know. i know that spiritually, i've gained much more than i will ever know. i'm sure that there, i would've been in a slump and wouldn't have been able to get out of it.

some of the relationships i made at camp will be there for the rest of my life. i absolutely love some of these kids, they're awesome! i'm sooo excited about this year; going to the different schools to visit!

i'm back home now in TC. i went and bought the new early november cd. i've only listened to the mechanic and it's pretty good. i'll listen to the mother today. apparently they want you to listen to the path with headphones on. i'll definitely do it. well, i move in in like 11 days! only eleven more days here in TC. i still need to find a bed and stuff. I think I have most of the furniture stuff taken care of. i hope i'm not the only one who brings furniture. so apparently, my government paper was due on the 5th. it's late but I don't know if I want to do it. I could still pull out a B in the class and not do the paper. we'll see what happens and how I feel. If i did it, I could possibly get an A but I don't know how much time I have. So pretty much my last days here will be spent with family and friends before we all head off to school. I think tonight we're going to see Ricky Bobby which will be hilarious. Until then, i'll be cleaning my room, finishing my final and completing everything else I have to do for my class to see where I stand.

we reach for the stars

i leave for dallas tomorrow. i'm really excited. it just blows me away how/why God has blessed me with such amazing friends. In high school, people have sooo many different definitions of a friendship, it's insane. In college, we find those people that we truly connect with and friends that will be there for the rest of our lives.

They amaze me everyday.

I dunno why, but I've been having a really strong feeling about rushing next fall. Why? It's not like I could afford to be in a fraternity. Let's face it, I'm a poor college student. I'm PROUD of it. But I would really like to be in a fraternity. I really want to do Cowboys, but that's not until another year. We'll see how that goes.

Have you ever gotten that urge to just go outside and play in the rain? As the raindrops hit your face and you're praising God at the top of your lungs, Chris Rice playing in the background. Giving it all to God. I wish I had more opportunities like this. When I listen to "Come to Jesus" by Chris Rice, I can just picture me running in a field while it's raining and praising God. Wouldn't that be awesome? I sometimes feel that I'm too routine-y. I feel like I'm like that when I'm here in Texas City. Everything's a routine. I love love love that randomness of my friends at school and how they are extremely spontaneous. Whether it be swimming in Town Lake, jumping off bridges, taking road trips or just playing at the capitol. I need to get out of this routine I'm in. I need to start living on the EDGE for Jesus. I need to start taking risks.

and now lyrics:
A compelling or constraining influence, such as a moral force on the mind or world, PRESSURE. To be undecided or skeptical, to tend to disbelieve and distrust, to regard as unlikely, that’s DOUBT. The condition of being insufficient or falling short, decline in strength or effectiveness, FAILURE. The instinct to run, to back away, or give up, to need, want, reach, steal, the feeling to always want more, and to take more, the loss of breath at the sight of a car accident, to drive by, never being able to feel satisfied, and to reject anyone who tries, and this is my life.

for me this is heaven.

i don't know what it is about that song. it's amazing. even more amazing when I hear the Ransom Notes sing it completely acapella.

I was telling Michael last night that my past couple of weeks here have been extremely awkward. God is doing some weird things in my life and I'm having weird feelings. I still don't know what I'm doing here. I know that I'm here for some reason but I just can't put my finger on it. I'll probably never know; or maybe I do know but am oblivious to it all.

Next week is crunch time. I have to complete five quizzes, a midterm and a research paper proposal. I can do it. If I do like two quizzes a day and then spend an entire day doing my midterm. It'll be fine.

I'm pretty excited about my 4th of July road trip with my best friends. hector is about to do abilene. get ready. it's going to be filled with fun all-nighters, playing on the lake, sand volleyball and complete randomness/craziness because it's we're all getting back togeth. before we go to abilene, i will be venturing to the Highland Park/Coppell/North Dallas area. That, will also be fun.

I'm just excited about what God is doing here and stuff. At the same time, it hurts. Oh well. Parents are starting to arrive. ttyl

someday sarah

dave barnes goes hard. i'm definitely seeing him next time he comes to Austin. Hopefully he comes with Matt or Andy.

I really wish I had the house to myself. It seems like all my Grandma does is yap too much! I can't stand it! I wish she would just stay in her room all day and give me money for gas and leisure activities! God! grant me peace with that!

Yet again, another day pretty much wasted. I should probably be reading my government book and taking the quiz that follows. Hopefully I can do that later! I need to get the majority of this class over with! It's soooo hard to get focused! I should probably pray for focus and concentration while I'm still here trying to finish this class. Until then, I'll just listen to Foreverandever over and over again! HAHA! I LOVE CAMP OZARK!

Well, the rest of my day includes watching TV, spending way too much time on the computer slash facebook, writting Joe and Katy Sims at Laity Lodge, you know, hangin out. Overall this posting was pretty much useless. oh well.

six months later

wow, it's been a while since i've been on this thing. december 29th was my last posting. there's soooo much to say, sooo much i've done over these past six months. this last six months have been of the greatest and worst times of my life, emphasis on greatest. i can't even begin to explain the amazing things that have happened to me. i've been on some wild rides that God has put me through and came out on top. it's summer now and i'm back in Texas City. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what the crap am I doing here this month (i'm only here for a month and then I go back to Camp Ozark!! (i can't wait!)) What is my purpose?! Clearly, God needed/wanted me here for some reason! What is it?! I dread everyday here. There's nothing to do. I usually just sit at the house ALL DAY. I don't have a job and I'm taking an online class which isn't too bad. I don't do enough for it. I can't see myself reading and doing all that everyday. I just have to get enough done these next three weeks before I leave for camp.

Oh camp, how I love/miss thee. Camp orientation was sooo much fun. It'll only be better with the kids being there. Caddo Heart is where it's at! Osage won orientation because the girls couldn't pick it up. Sorry Caddo girls, I love yall but we need to do better! Oh well, my tribal comp team with wreck, I can feel it.

Texas City is getting a YoungLife in the fall. Clint and Emily from Grace are now the Youth Pastors at Baypoint in Texas City! Clint was a YL leader at Creek and now he'll be the head guy at TCHS. It's going to be awesome! They are sending 15 Junior/Senior guys to Crooked Creek in July! Isn't that crazy?! Anderson only sent 10 guys to go to camp and even that was hard.

It's crazy how much I miss everyone. I didn't think it would be this bad. It is. I look forward to the day when we're all together in our house and when everyone else is in Austin and we can play again! It'll be sooo awesome! A few of the kids came down to Friendswood and we all hung out. It was probably the best three days of my summer. So far. I'm sure camp will be the best days of my life.

People are starting to come into the kitchen. I'll write back later.