The Five

5. I need to find my five. I need to find my core group of five friends who I know will always be there when you need them. Well, not necessarily that but more like five friends who can always count on. I don't want to count on them to always be there but more to always help me out when I need it. I don't know if I have this yet, or at least I don't feel like I have this yet.

The other day, something pretty shitty was done to me by one of the people in my community (community - a really cheesy word Christians use to describe their group of friends, the people they live with, etc.). I won't explain what happened because it's too long to explain and frankly, I'm getting tired of talking about it. What it made me discover is that I really need to find my true community, my true group/core of about five friends. When this shitty thing happened to me, it really made me consider why I'm even friends with people like this anyway. To be honest, I feel like the people who bring most of the hurt and pain into my life are the people in my "community." These people make me feel left out, not good enough and unwanted. If I told them I felt this way, they would probably think I was crazy. I wish they knew that my spirit, literally cannot take anymore of heartache before I break down and lose it. I'm already at a really weird place regarding my relationship with the Lord and these believers that I live with aren't doing anything to help. If anything, they're pushing me farther and farther away. I told myself I would rather be alone and not talk to any of these people than to constantly be with them, getting hurt.

I'll continue this post later, I keep getting distracting by YouTube and my roommates

Sunday

So I know it's been a while since I've updated the blog. I've been having a really lazy weekend here at the Duncan because last weekend was so crazy.

I've been hanging out with Darrell, Daniel and Devin a lot. It's been a lot of fun. We're the oldest in the house and I'm pretty sure I'll be the oldest in the house when the new year starts. Oh yeah, I'll be living in Duncan tentatively unless I find somewhere more suitable for my to live. Until then, I'll be holding it down in the back room with Devin and Daniel. Darrell will be living here when he can find a job but he says that he'll be moving back to Brenham at the end of the month. Since we're the old balls in the house, we're just going to live together. It'll work out, I think.

Work has been going well. We're in the middle of a huge deadline that has be to completed by the end of the week, next week but I think we can get it. I'm trying to make it out to Ozark for at least a few days during fourth session but I don't know if I'll be able to. With work and it taking eight hours to drive up there, it doesn't seem like I'll be able to do it.

I'm still trying to complete this post, an hour and a half later. Sorry, I get distracted by Facebook and Twitter while I'm creating a post. Also, Darrell is in the room and he's yelling and distracting me even more. Anyway, this summer is shaping up to be a great one. I'm eager for fall weather and for football season to start. I'm also eager to see where this PGi job takes me. I've started explaining to my roommate and my friends how my political aspirations are very real and I would like to start pursuing that. I guess I can make them known here: I, Hector Garza (tentative (I'll explain later)) hereby publicly announce my intentions for running for Governor in the year 2034 and/or 2038. While it may sound funny, let me assure that it is not. Pretty soon, I (generally speaking) will be the "new" Republican. In the future and currently in the present, the minority will become the majority in Texas. If the all-white Republican party wants to continue it's reign in Texas then it's going to need to branch out to the current minority. The party, however, is in luck. There just so happens to be a young, 22 year old recent graduate of The University of Texas who would consider himself conservative that would love to be the new face of the conservative minority in Texas. I'm not doing this to exploit the minorities just because I see this potential problem and have asserted myself as the solution, but this has been a dream of mine for quite some time. I will talk about this more in another post but for now, be considering my vote.

The Last Month

So it's been a while since my last post; a lot has happened. I figured if I put a link to my blog on my PGiLive site (I'll explain) then I should probably update it more often. So, here it goes:

Well, as you know, I got a job here in Austin working at a company called PGi, a communications technologies company. Specifically, our Austin office is in charge of our website, www.pgi.com, check it out. I work on our content management team managing our Content Management System. It's been a lot of fun and I really like most of the people that I work with. We have a really cool office with most of the people being young. I've made some pretty good friends including some of the interns that I work with. Currently, we're interns but I think we will be there for a long time. At least a year, which is fine with me. If at the end of our three month contract, they offer us a bit more money I would take it and stay there. I still have the job working with Water Street so that's good.

I've been living in the Duncan house which has been so great. I really really like everyone in the house and the constant community here. I really enjoy it. I know the job with PGi will last for a while so I want to bring up the conversation of me living here for the next year. I know I have a full-time job but honestly, I don't think it's that much of a hassle.

I decided that I love officially living in Austin and I love everything about this town! Texas City is great for a while but Austin is where it's at. I really hope that I can start my professional life here. From 4th street to 13th street! The Texas Capitol!

Well, that's about as much as I can write right now. Here are some things you can be praying for:

-My relationship with Christ

-Finances

-Being a light in the workplace

-My relationship with my parents

-Baby Layla

-My spiritual, emotional and physical health

Faces Going Places

So huge updates: I GOT A JOB IN AUSTIN. It's a summer internship at a place called PGi or Premiere Global Services. Thanks to an old friend/roommate Weston, he hooked me up. I'm seriously beyond excited for this position. Not only will we have the sweetest working environment but I will be working with some amazing people. I want to learn and I want to be the hardest working intern there so I can earn a full-time position. So I was supposed to work full-time for Water Street but I think I'm just going to do it part-time and then go into real estate full-time eventually. I need to have two sources of income to help offset bills/loans and stuff. I figure everything I make from real estate can go towards my loans. I want to get those effers paid off in at least five years. The rents are getting pretty pissed at me and are on the verge of cutting me off. When I say on the verge I really mean they are cutting me off and making me pay for all of my bills (phone, insurance, car). Honestly, I was pretty pissed off at first but literally God came and soothed my heart and assured me that everything would be fine. I'm going to trust Him. I'm going to trust Him. I'm going to show my mother what faith is and I know that God will bring me through this.

In other news: I went to West U's last ozone of the year on Tuesday. This was probably my last ozone ever. It was sad. I know it wasn't Memorial's Ozone but it was still hard to sit through it knowing that the person who didn't hire me for the same job was sitting literally two feet from me. Memorial had their last ozone tonight. I thought about going but if I did, it would've been a sobfest on my part as well as Brad and Haley's. I'm not going to lie, I'm still not over what happen BUT I'M TRYING MY HARDEST. NOBODY IS PERFECT. My heart for Ozone was/is 100% and so was my commitment. Like I said on twitter, I wish things had played out differently but there was nothing I could do. Rumor is that they haven't hired anyone else for the position. Maybe they're hoping to find someone this summer for it. Whatever the situation, I'm still going to be praying for whoever is in that position as well as those kids cause that's who it's really about. Not me, not the Torn's, not any permanent staff but the kids. It was hard saying goodbye to some of my boys at West U. I'll see Travis and John again but probably not Robbe. He's off to play soccer in Kentucky. Crazy. I told him if he hates it to please transfer to Texas which he said would probably happen. John will be at Texas and Travis will be at Texas State. I'm excited for those kids but also apprehensive for trav and john. Being in Austin, hopefully I'll be able to guide John and steer him away from ridiculousness and drunkenness.

I should be moving to Austin for this job here pretty soon. I think I decided on where I'm going to live but I won't say anything just quite yet. I'm super excited and confident that God will have my back and provide for me spiritually, physically and financially. I'm excited for this next step in my life. Two years ago this week I took a huge chance by going to Ozark the entire year and look what happened, I had an amazing summer. Things will be great!

Prayers:
-The Squier family: Pops passed away last week. He was a great dad! Please be praying for the kids of the Squier family as well as his wife.

-Move to Austin: That God shows up like crazy!

-Pursuit of Christ: These are crazy times in my life and I need to be RUNNING towards the Lord. This week has been tough as some people who are the closest to me in my life have let me down. It's been tough but reassure me Lord that you have a plan and that it's going to work itself out

-My mother: that woman needs prayers straight up, each and everyway

-MEMORIAL OZONE: a new staff member and for kids there

-My Pops: that he gets this new job. He should find out here soon whether or not he gets an interview!

Taking Chances

So I realize that I haven't updated the blog in a while and I apologize for that. This past month has been pretty crazy. I started subbing (not sure if I talked about that in my last post) and that has been keeping me pretty busy. I told myself that I wanted to sub more days than not sub during the week (at least three days but most of the time four). It's been good, stressful I guess. It's hard when you go six months doing absolutely nothing, waking up whenever and coming and going as you please to having to wake up early and have real responsibility. I've been at Blocker (middle school) mostly. I'm currently in a three-day assignment subbing for eighth grade math in what I think is the worst team in eighth grade. Two of my classes have math both days (you're only supposed to have it once) and I have one regular class. I'm not going to lie, I've been pretty tired and my head has been hurting a lot these past couple of weeks. I don't know what it is. The week leading up to my trip to Austin was bad. I was having headaches and just feeling out of it. It's gotten better since then but today it sort of hit me again like a ton of bricks during my last period class. But, God did answer prayers today when I prayed that today would go smoother than yesterday. All of my kids want to cheat and they are the ones that failed the TAKS test. That's not going to do anything but not help them make it to the high school. It's going to be a reality check when that happens. Currently, they are at the top of the food chain but I wish they would realize that it's a long fall back to the bottom when you're a freshman.

In other news, Dad made it to the second round of the job process for this job at Valero. Apparently, this is the third that that he has made it this far, both times going past this round for the actual interview. Rumor is that if he can get an interview this time, the job would be almost sowed up. I've been praying about this everyday because I know how much this would mean to him to get this job. I really hope that he does get this. It would do a lot for the morale of the house and they could even buy a new house! If Dad were to get this job, they would pretty much be locked in here in Texas City which would be fine, I plan on moving back to Austin and I actually like Texas City in bits and pieces.

There's actually somethings brewing for me as far as the job hunt goes and for the time being. I'm still 100% doing the real estate thing but am looking for a part-time job in Austin to get me there ASAP. If it's part-time I can split time there and at the real estate office, learning and gaining knowledge on how to be a better real estate agent.

As far as Jesus goes, these past few days have been great. Church was great on Sunday and I've still been thinking about the sermon that I heard at Stone two weeks ago about having an enduring faith. I really want to have a faith that endures and that's been on my heart a lot these past couple of days. I know what could potentially lead me astray from the Lord and I need to work extra hard to recognize those temptations and make sure that I have accountability in my life. I'm going to try my hardest to endure whatever temptations, tests are thrown at my way.

What you can be praying for:
-This job opportunity in Austin. I won't say what it is because I don't want to give away too much information but it would pretty much be perfect for me and the time being.

-Subbing: That kids would be receptive to my requests. I think because I'm so young and because I look so young, it's hard for them to take me seriously.

-My Mom: she needs some joy in her life, I don't think she's happy

-My sister: she's going through some stuff with her "husband" and basically he's tripping out. She needs some intervention somehow. I refuse to get involved in any domestic disputes, haha

take me in

I remembered it's been a while since my last post so I wanted to update all my avid readers on life!

-So this week was my rescheduled jury duty assignment. I was originally supposed to have jury duty the week of the national championship but immediately reassigned because I still figured there was a small chance of heading out to Los Angeles. I was kinda looking forward to it because I figured I would be getting paid a little bit for it. So yesterday I reported for it and did not get picked. I didn't get picked for today or tomorrow as well. So I guess I have a spring break? Which is just continuation of the winter/summer break that I've had for the past seven months. haha

-Substituting is finally happening! I can start working as soon as spring break is over! I would like to be a full-time sub slash subbing everyday if possible. I need to start making money. Now.

-Still planning on doing Water Street. Waiting for the correct funds to come in and then everything will fall into place.

-It's late and I'm bored so I may make some brownies because I'm bored. Tuesday = LOST so I need to go watch that as well as American Idol

Dreams

I have a new life dream. My new life dream is to be six inches taller, grow a crazy beard, wear a lot of brown clothes and to learn how to play the guitar (way better), piano and the fiddle. My dream is to be a folk singer. Currently, Scott Avett has my job and I want it from him. I want to sing songs from great artists in the past like Townes Van Zandt, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson among others. I'm completely serious. I've always wanted to be a musician entertainer and now I know that this is the kind of music that I would perform. There's so much energy and emotion in folk music; I think that says a lot about my life currently and in the past. It's all about feelings and experiences, it's the next best thing from the blues. I just want to show the world what's going on inside the head of a kid raised on the Bayou here in Southeast Texas who's also got some hill country in 'em. I want to put this city on the map. One of my dreams has been to become a famous folk musician and to put on a show for the hometown fans. I don't think there is a more rewarding feeling than doing this and I try to think about the Avett Brothers performing in North Carolina.

My favorite Avett song today:

Obsessions

So I've recently started a list on my phone. In the notes section I've been getting all Oprah-like with my favorite things list. Things on this list are among a wide variety of things from food, tv shows, places, movies, songs, phrases among other things. I guess you could say that these are very specific things that I like. I feel like I always tell myself, "Gosh, I love this _____ so much," and then I forget about it and try to remember it. (You're probably thinking well if you love it so much then you wouldn't forget it.) Well, I do. I started to write some of it down. I thought I'd share with you what I have so far and explain it.

Hectee's favorite things (some):

1) the scene in the new Romeo and Juliet where they first meet - if you've ever seen the modern version of Romeo and Juliet, you know what I mean. This might sound kinda girly and weird (haha) but I truly believe in love at first sight. In this movie, I love everything about this scene. I'm sure if you were to ask some high-payed movie critic they would think I was crazy but I can't help it. Romeo sees an aquarium behind him in the restroom (I think it's between the girls and boys room) and is in a trance because of the neon, colorful fish in the tank. A lot of his enumeration probably had to do with the fact that he had taken an ecstasy pill earlier that day but then you see him and Juliet first see each other. I thought the scene was magical. It almost felt like I was there, seeing the love of my life through a fish tank. I just love it and smile everytime I see it.

2) ice cold dr. pepper - for the longest time, DP has been my favorite drink. When I was younger my dad worked for DP. I don't know if that had much to do with it but it's been a love affair with the drink ever since I can remember. Almost every Lent I try to give it up because it's something that I cannot truly live without.

3) road trips and the people you take them with - I mean, I think everyone loves this. When I was in HS we never took road trips so it wasn't until college that we started doing this. Trips to college station, houston, dallas, abilene, phoenix, east texas, the grand canyon, san antonio, tilden, noodle, omaha, mount ida, amarillo, fairplay colorado, denver, oxford mississippi are all places among others that I ventured to while in college. I've been to every stretch of texas and almost the entire south. I love roadies!

4) post secret - if you've never heard of post secret then I suggest that on this coming sunday, go to postsecret.com. I can't tell you how long I've looked and read post secret. There's something about hearing other people's secrets that draws me to it. One time, I went and put two of my secrets in a post secret book at a bookstore somewhere in Houston. Months later, I went to check on the books and they had both been bought. I always hear stories of people putting secrets in the books and people finding them. I guess it's the whole trust thing. You trust a stranger that you don't know or will never meet with your secret.

5) chicken fried steak - this is probably my favorite meal, ever. i've had a lot of chicken fried steak in my day and i'm very critical of how it's made. i went to this restaurant in oxford when I went on the square and I was so excited to see how a legit southern restaurant makes this texas gem. it was awful. if i had to compare it to something else it would be lower than the cfs they served to us in the high school cafeteria. yeah, that bad. one of the bests chicken fried steaks i've had was here at one of TC's best restaurants called Gus'. They have everything fried and everything Texas! The meal usually starts off with a sweet tea or dp, texas blooming onion for an appetizer with their homemade ranch. Yikes, their ranch might be the death of me one day. Then on to the main course, CHICKEN FRIED STEAK with french fries! Gosh, I want one. Soon

So this is just a snippet into some of my favorite things. Remember, never forget the things you love and always remember them. Maybe I can persuade you to start writing your own favorite things list. I tend to do a lot of lists. The other list I started was the soundtrack to my life list. I wrote that down on an index card but I'm pretty sure I lost it. I'm sure it will change with the years.

Making a Mess

So I actually had an interesting week. Not only did I have an interview but I was offered a job to work at the local gym/natatorium here in Texas City. It was probably going to be a good job but the boss said that she would want me to commit to staying through the summer at least until August. I told her my intentions of moving to Austin and becoming a Real Estate agent and I think that was the deciding factor in me turning the position down. I went and talked with an old coach from the high school and he explained how they have been having a lot of trouble with finding substitutes for the high school. He assured me that if I started to sub, I could definitely sub a lot. The assistant tennis coach needs a sub for his french class and he's out at least twice a week. He told me that he would let the coach know so that I could be the sub of his class. This coming Thursday, Jeremy and I are going to the substitute class at the high school so hopefully I could start subbing as soon as possible.

On Wednesday after I had my interview, I had an eye doctor's appointment. Long story short, I'm kind of a self-diagnosed hypochondriac. I know, I know that's silly, right? No, it's not. I wish that I wasn't one but it happens. Anyway, I have floaters in my eye with the occasional onset of flashes. Basically, floaters are pockets of jelly in your eye that move around. They are harmless and don't really have a cause. The bad thing is sometimes they fall on your retina and pull pieces of it off causing flashes. I needed to make sure that I did not have a torn retina or anything like that so that's why I went to the doc. He did a lot of tests including dilating my eyes and looking inside. He said that everything looks fine and that he even saw one of my floaters but did not see any tearing of either retina. Thank God. Sometimes I force myself to believe that there's something wrong with me and then I get to researching on the internet about the different things that could be wrong and I start to freak out. Like I said, I wish that I wasn't like this but it happens to the best of us I guess. You could definitely be praying for me about that.

So now I'm just waiting on income tax to come in so I can start on my Real Estate license. I want to move to Austin knowing that I can be financially stable for at least two months because that's how long the turn around will be on being an agent. So let's say I start subbing for the rest of the year and I have to take out expenses like dealing with my car, paying for some stuff on the loans, and all the money I will spend. I need to start helping my parents out with my car note, insurance and phone bill. I want to jump in head first and start making money so I can be independent. That's all I want to be is independent, on my own and not having to worry about my parents helping me out. I just want to grow up and do it fast.

So I was talking to Drew Taggart today and he told me I should come back to camp this summer. I've been thinking about that all day. What if I went up for pre-o, orientation, 1st and 2nd sessions? That'd be great. That would also probably be the last time I would be at camp. If I did go, I would like to have oldest boys at least ONCE. The other time I would like to be in the summit. Is that too much to ask? I will be a four-year returner if I come back so I would love to be with oldest boys. I know that I could do a good job with them. Also, I would like to be chief. teehee Just kidding, but seriously, I want to be chief. I know I could be a good one.

It's 1:19 AM and I have to wake up early because it's going to be a long day with 400 junior high and high school crazies. I must get sleep.

A new day

I have been having some good last couple of days here in Texas City. Despite a small scuffle with my Mom, things have been good. I had a great quiet time yesterday after writing a letter to one of my campers for his confirmation.

So last week I get a text message from a camper asking me for my address, I gave it to him not really knowing what to expect. A few days later I get a letter from his mom asking me if I could write him a letter for his confirmation. Wow! This is awesome! She said that she knew that I had a big impact on Max this summer at camp and would be honored if I could write him a letter. I was so honored that she thought of me. I wrote him a letter yesterday as well as his mom, thanking her for this opportunity. Max is a kid that I've been pretty close with for a while and he was in my S-18 cabin with Michael, one of the greatest cabins ever. This was good for the soul. When I was so down and discouraged, He wanted me to know that even though I won't be doing Ozone that I've still made and impact on kids' lives there. Exactly what I needed.

So yeah, things are hopefully looking up. I applied for a job here in Texas City at the gym which would be good for me. I'm about to start working on obtaining my real estate license so I need all the money I can because that is very expensive but it is an investment.

I went ahead and took the last post down. After talking with a friend, I realized that I may have been out of line and not emotionally ready to talk about something like that. I didn't want to upset or offend anyone by that post, it's just how I was feeling. Ozark means a lot to me, you can't deny that. Ozone means a lot to me as well as those kids. The satisfaction I get from working with those kids is what I want, not this stupid blog. If you felt offended by anything I said, please let me know so I can apologize. I love camp ozark and ozone ministries. I care about the relationships that I've made there and wouldn't want something as dumb and stupid as a blog post to come between that.

Things you can be praying for:
-A job here in Texas City! I need to make some money so I can get my real estate license which costs a lot!

-My eyes, just pray that God would do a miraculous thing and heal them

-My relationship with my parents/brother

-My relationship with Christ here in Texas City. Each and everyday I would spend time with him

-Ozone! I pray that they can find someone awesome for the spot in Memorial! It's going to be rockin these next couple of years!

Extended Family

So I just recently discovered some new extended family. Well, not really. I always knew they existed but we never officially met. My grandfather's brother has another family in Texas City. This is where I became related to the mayor of Texas City. My dad and him are cousins. It's weird because all of the Garza's are from Galveston but they live in Texas City. Well one of the kids is a hs junior I think at TCHS and is apparently a Christian. Not one of those youth group, "christians" but like this kid has a seriously relationship with the Lord. Of course when I found out I got excited, probably too excited. The majority of my family is Catholic and they do that whole thing which is completely cool but not for me.

So I randomly stumble onto this kid's blog and his post was ridiculous. I would love to set up a hyperlinky but i'm tired and I wanted this post to be short! Anyway, the kid pours his heart out about kids at TCHS and I was shocked. I remember my freshman year of college coming home and randomly looking at myspace profiles from people in my hs and i almost wanted to cry because of the void i could see in their life. they needed Jesus and at a time where I was so in tune with what the Lord wanted me to do, my heart ached for these kids. To see someone feel the same way, I just knew that I needed to get into contact with him. Then, I realize that I'm related to this kid which is even more awesome. If there is one thing I learned in college it's how to be intentional with people and how to pursue them. I know when I was a senior in HS and was a new christian, I would've loved for someone older and more experienced to help me with stuff and so I want to do that for this kid. I mean he seems to be on the right track anyway but I would love to help. I might as well, i'm here!

The Perfect Space

I would like to come to you and report a lot of good news in this post. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Things these past couple of weeks have not been good. I've been applying for jobs non stop and have had no luck. I've been doing my best to follow up and still, nothing. Thankfully, my parents are very understanding and know that I've been trying my hardest. If something doesn't happen soon, I'm going to get a part-time job down here so I can have some kind of income. I've been living off this "trust-fund" of mine and it will run out someday.

Spiritually I'm dry. I don't know what has gotten into me. I haven't had a quiet time in a very long time. It's been a while since I've spoken to God. I mean, I guess you could so I'm frustrated with the cards I've been dealt currently. I have no one to blame except for myself. I have a verse in James put up over my desk and it's ironic that when I do face trials, I don't run straight for God. I tend to run for the world and I run to fulfill my worldly desires. God, I pray that something would happen that would rock my world right about now. These past few days have been really crappy and instead of seeking You, I found temporary pleasure in other things not of you.

Some good news: I just had a great talk with an old roommate who is genuinely interested in helping my obtain a job in Austin. If something were to work out from his help, I would be forever in debt to him. I'm glad that someone is extending a hand to give me some help. It's really hard for me to ask for help because I already feel like I bother half of the people I come into contact with. Please be praying for me and for my time in Austin next week! I really want something to happen!

My take on the National Championship and events thereafter

So by now you probably know that The University of Texas did not win the BCS Championship. I went to Austin for the big game because that's where I was in 2006 when we beat USC. I wanted to recreate everything because I might be a tad superstitious. On the fifth play of the game, Colt McCoy was knocked out of the game on what looked like a regular tackle. One of Alabama's linemen came in and hit (a clean hit) Colt in the "right" spot, on his back to the side of his armpit on his throwing arm. Everyone watching the game didn't know anything was wrong until after the next play. They took a timeout and when they came back we saw that Garrett Gilbert had been in the game. Like I said, it didn't seem like the hit was a bad hit but now we know that he had been hit in a nerve that caused him to lose feeling in his throwing arm.

So we put the entire weight of the state of Texas on the back of Garrett Gilbert, a freshman from right here in Austin. He through a couple of ridiculous interceptions which could've easily been avoided (the receivers were NOT catching the ball like they had been all season long). So the halftime score was 17-6 after a ridiculous interception taken back for a touchdown with only 17 seconds left (should not have happened). I told myself that the game was lost and there was no way that we were going to come back. After halftime, I think Alabama scored another TD on another turnover and I wanted to leave because it was going downhill fast. Well, Gilbert threw a 40 yd TD to Shipley and they ignited our defense and our offense. I think Alabama only gained 7 yards in the third quarter which was huge. With the score being 24-13, we started marching down the field. We were on the 24 yd line (I think) when Gilbert found Shipley wide open for a TD. The entire stadium and City of Austin went wild. Even more awesome was that we converted on the 2-point conversion. By this time, it was the fourth quarter with about 7 minutes to go. Our defense made a huge stop and we got the ball back on the 8 yard line in our own territory. After a few plays, Gilbert was sacked, ball recovered by Alabama and the rest is history.

So for the first time in nine tries, Alabama defeated Texas. Of course, I'm going to be bitter after this loss. Our emotions were on a rollercoaster; we started the game on such a huge high I thought we were going to run away with it (and probably would have had Colt not gotten hurt) but we didn't. We lost. It didn't take too long to realize that we didn't win with the help of all my friends who attend universities in the Southeastern Conference. Oh well, at least we made it there! We went undefeated and won the Big 12 Championship! In the past two years we've only lost two games! That's amazing!

It was an awkward situation for both the winning and losing team. I heard reports out of Pasadena that there wasn't much trash talking after the game because it was haunted by the injury to Colt McCoy and what could've been. I think both teams would have rather the injury not happen because you don't want to give the other team any room for excuses. But, sometimes things don't always work out in your favor and you just have to live with what God throws your way. The way that Colt, the team and the university (students) responded to this loss was unbelievable. The class and character shown by everyone affiliated with the University of Texas at Austin was tremendous. We took this loss, congratulated our opponents and moved on (I'm trying my hardest). It's situations like these that make me so proud of my school and so thankful that God allowed me to be apart of something so great and so unique. Even as an undergrad I felt like we were one big family and that's what I loved about the university. Yes, one big family, all 50K of us. If you have the opportunity to come to the University of Texas, do it. Trust me, you will not regret it. They say that high school is the best time of your life. I always chuckle and shake my head, "You must have went to some other college." I will never forget my time at the University of Texas and I cherish it! What starts here truly changes the world. Texas Fight.

P.S. I don't know if you know but UT has lost the last three national championships that we have been apart of. Two of these championships have been taken by SEC teams (baseball, football) and Penn State (volleyball). Oh yeah and I forgot that in tennis Georgia beat us in 2008 (ahh!). What's going on with us? We get to the big game and then we lose it after having opportunities to win (baseball and volleyball especially). I honestly believe that God is trying to show us some humility (far fetched, I know). As Texans, we are generally very arrogant and cocky. In 2004/2005, we had all the luck in the world! We were winning NCs left and right. Now? We've lost the last five NCs we had an opportunity to win. I look at this in a very optimistic light. I honestly believe God is showing us some crazy humility and in the end will grant us a couple of NCs and it will be glorious. Please don't think I'm crazy but I honestly believe that this will happen soon! It has to. God owes us a couple!

Small Enough

Yep, needing you right about now Jesus.

The most awkward of times for me are when I am driving back to Texas City from wherever I've gone for the weekend. This past weekend I went to Austin to watch the game. I figured if we won that'd be the best place to be besides Pasadena. I was also there in 2006 when we won so I needed to be there. I pretty much made a pact with myself that I would never miss a Big 12 Championship or a National Championship ever again. Next year the Big 12 is in Dallas which should be very easy to attend and the national championship is in Phoenix! But anyway, back to me needing Jesus right now. There is nothing to report on the job front but I still want to move to Austin and get a job there as soon as possible. I'm still in the process of applying for jobs there so please be praying that something will open up for me soon. A very surprising conversation with my cousin led me to emailing her my resume and her telling me that she will be emailing it out to people she knows. What a great connection! Thank you Jesus for my cousin and her heart for helping me out even when she doesn't have to!

I don't want to go into large detail into my inner-most feelings or anything but I need something to happen soon to give me hope..joy, something to make me feel better. I got distracted and started looking for jobs, sorry about that. But I hope and pray that something big will happen this week! It's possible with you Lord! I believe!

P.S. It's weird because I always told myself that I liked winter and didn't mind the cold. Looking back on it, you can't do anything outside. I miss summer. A lot. I'd rather be really hot than really cold.