5. I need to find my five. I need to find my core group of five friends who I know will always be there when you need them. Well, not necessarily that but more like five friends who can always count on. I don't want to count on them to always be there but more to always help me out when I need it. I don't know if I have this yet, or at least I don't feel like I have this yet.
The other day, something pretty shitty was done to me by one of the people in my community (community - a really cheesy word Christians use to describe their group of friends, the people they live with, etc.). I won't explain what happened because it's too long to explain and frankly, I'm getting tired of talking about it. What it made me discover is that I really need to find my true community, my true group/core of about five friends. When this shitty thing happened to me, it really made me consider why I'm even friends with people like this anyway. To be honest, I feel like the people who bring most of the hurt and pain into my life are the people in my "community." These people make me feel left out, not good enough and unwanted. If I told them I felt this way, they would probably think I was crazy. I wish they knew that my spirit, literally cannot take anymore of heartache before I break down and lose it. I'm already at a really weird place regarding my relationship with the Lord and these believers that I live with aren't doing anything to help. If anything, they're pushing me farther and farther away. I told myself I would rather be alone and not talk to any of these people than to constantly be with them, getting hurt.
I'll continue this post later, I keep getting distracting by YouTube and my roommates
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