victorious sight

so it was when i got towed over the weekend in austin did i have an epiphany. well, the epiphany actually came after i retrieved artie from the tow yard in shady east east austin. it was 1:15 AM and i had been talking to madison about things in my life and my relationship with Christ. after we had got my car back she told me that i had a lot of things to think about and she thought it would be a good idea if i just drove home. being someone who enjoys a good road trip, i took her advice and did it. i left austin at 1:15 in the morning and got home a little after 4. while on my road trip i had some great conversation with the Lord. for a solid hour i was praying. i've never done this before. it was great. i poured my heart out to Him and started at the beginning, where the pain and suffering first started happening.

it was during this time with the Lord that I realize that i had been living my life all wrong the past couple of weeks. i was easy to fulfill my needs and desires with things of this world and not of Him. i wanted to feel better quick. i filled my void with things that were not permanent. is this finally the time where i take a stand and say that You're better than that? I hope so. I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of being anxious. I'm tired of being afraid. I want to be joyful and filled with life and your spirit. I want to laugh again.

my prayer: Father, you are so much bigger than my depression, my anxiety and my sickness. please, i beg you to show your power and take these away from me. i come to you now and beg for your forgiveness for how i have been acting. please reveal yourself to me; i want to see You. each and every day, allow me to pursue you without a crutch to fall back on. allow me to mature in my faith. love you.

well, my weekend in austin was a lot of fun. i let my emotions get the best of me for a while there. i had a lot of fun hanging out with a lot of different people. i definitely realized that i ran in so many circle in college which was very exhausting. it wasn't until after college did i realize that i had a lot of friends in a lot of different places. i got to play some competitive volleyball which was something i hadn't done in months. it was so exciting. so exciting that my heart got to racing because i was having so much fun. texas city is still the same. a week from friday i leave to go on the ozone fall retreat! eeeee! i'm so excited! i can't hardly wait. we are going to rock out with some high schoolers!

prayers:
-please be praying that i stay focused on my pursuit towards the Lord and that i won't let petty worldly things get in my way
-my work with ozone and that my volunteer work doesn't go unnoticed. i want to work for ozone and will hold out for that
-my relationship with my family here in texas city. pray that i can be a light for them
-that i will continue to try and improve my health by working out and eating better. i had fastfood tonight and shouldn't have. oh well.
-OZONE FALL RETREAT!